Re: A Fish is Always a Fish by Dovina	30-Mar-06/12:30 AM
I dont know what you're doing but whatever it is its working and very well too.
Re: 9/11 - The Jumpers by Caducus	30-Mar-06/6:24 AM
Inspired by the channel 4 documentary 'jumpers 911'.
regarding some deleted poem...	4-Apr-06/4:07 AM
Some of us aid others in their future relationships and we become blueprints for their benefit as we coil in a bed filled with their smell and a wardrobe full of hangers that sing our loss. This was an important poem for me because hwat the word blueprint represents is cold and final and is how i viewed how i was with my ex. You carry many messages in this conveying loss but do it without self pity, just a stark realization that things are gonna change and the change is harder to accept when forced on you. Your ability to commentate on the undescribable is indeed poetic and moving. I went for the long on here lol. A rare 10 from me - i dont do 10s really anymore.
regarding some deleted poem...	4-Apr-06/8:31 AM
e-cargo echo from me. I feel like a waitress in the love dept.
regarding some deleted poem...	4-Apr-06/8:32 AM
reads like a title for one of those moments that come and go every now and then and are seldom celebrated for just what they are - crazy nice moments. You do this kinda thing sweeter than a puppy's eyes.
Re: Explorations Underground by ecargo	4-Apr-06/8:37 AM
last 3 lines wrap it up a treat.
Re: Because You Love Me by amanda_dcosta	4-Apr-06/8:43 AM
Because this read so heartfelt and genuine it seemed elevated from greeting card style poetry to something more and i find myself drawn to the simplicity of it. I guess I'm saying simplicity can work - i think the meter helps and it would be even better with a couple of killer lines (less basic). It needs a core, a heart. The end line normally would make you sound dependant on someone else to feel loved but it kind of works for me though why do you love him? give us a reason and make the love tangible and felt more. Pretty good, flawed yet lovely.
Re: Old River Sherbourne by Caducus	6-Apr-06/4:49 AM
Spon is an old word i think from saxon times which means to meet, or to spon.
Re: Shy, quiet by Ranger	6-Apr-06/8:25 AM
Dressed well mr R. Like the unravelling words complementing the unravelling tempest, i think you struggled in last 2 lines, i dont even think it needs it, maybe end it with calm or whats left after.
Re: The Battle of Fort Bragg by Dovina	6-Apr-06/8:28 AM
echo - ecargo. I'll add that I think its a stanza too long and it could be ended perfectly in 5. Your knocking out some good stuff and retaining the focusa as you write which m,akes reading you a good thing.
Re: The Battle of Fort Bragg by Dovina	6-Apr-06/8:29 AM
Did us Brits have our asses kicked at fort bragg? Bloody Tea was the end of us lol.
Re: The Day After Next by cyan9	6-Apr-06/8:33 AM
Problem ! this is well enough written and i can see the earnest in your writing but it just reads like an essay set and is like a dinner well cooked that everyones eaten an hour ago.
Re: The Obelisk by MacFrantic	6-Apr-06/8:35 AM
Very cool and very assured.
Re: These Past Sixteen Months by amanda_dcosta	6-Apr-06/8:43 AM
Plus points are for the seemingly lack of self pity and though fairly generic in word choice you have knack for narrative and characteriztions i could care about. Rangers right about the end as the ancient style of words such as o'er is like mixing chocolate with cabbage. Title could be more fitting and just called 16 months. I also think the four continents / one nest scenario could be milked more for poignancy. You give me a lot of ideas from what i have read, the potential i can see but i find you could be gettin more from your writing if you second read or draft your work further.
regarding some deleted poem...	10-Apr-06/1:29 AM
Dreamlike images and you painted S.P. like a scene from a snow globe. Made me want to watch Mr Scissorhands with the coal fire burning. Lovely.
Re: Maybe I Wasn’t Born on a Fool’s Day by Dovina	10-Apr-06/1:30 AM
No fool then lol. Fun read score -
Re: Morning City by Jack Diamond	10-Apr-06/1:32 AM
Reminds me of an early 'intransit' style poetry yet the confidence in your writing shows and its very stylistic. Like your bebut (well for me anyway)
regarding some deleted poem...	10-Apr-06/3:53 AM
Crafty opening line becasue i did listen and read and the Ahhhh moment was worth waiting for.
Re: The copper man and Labrador by Caducus	10-Apr-06/7:07 AM
How dare the barrister be knocked off top spot i self vote a zero.
Re: The copper man and Labrador by Caducus	10-Apr-06/7:07 AM
okay someone else do it i cant.