| Re: Grind by INTRANSIT |
27-Nov-03/3:16 AM |
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This is my kinda thing and as a writer of death, graves and balh blah blah i give you maximum respect on this one. I'm tenning ya baby !
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| Re: Grind by INTRANSIT |
27-Nov-03/3:17 AM |
oh yeah ! By the way the name please of the grandfather clock (ripping its guts out poem please????)
I took everything I had
and put it underground to decay,
and welcomed the invisible world.
A world of the unseen vitamin,
where thoughts become the
granules of life.
Where dirt is edible and tastes
like the sun.
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| Re: Second Sight by Nitroxide |
27-Nov-03/3:19 AM |
typo line 2.
Admirable sentiment, this if more concise could pack a harder punch, nevertheless i liked where you went with it.7
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| Re: The man of steel by <{Baba^Yaga}> |
12-Dec-03/1:51 PM |
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| Re: Lessons on being a man by thepinkbunnyofdoom |
12-Dec-03/1:53 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
12-Dec-03/1:54 PM |
Line 9 - loved it
Infact i'll even stay behind and clap the damn orchestra --8
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
12-Dec-03/1:55 PM |
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don't care what this is about it hit something shallow and landed on deep.
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| Re: What I really needed by Shardik |
12-Dec-03/1:58 PM |
I think i know what your're wrting of here.
Dad?
You don't have to conceal to reveal - however i love this for its fragility and pride.
I'm moved 10
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| Re: Use Me by dragonfly |
12-Dec-03/2:01 PM |
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Loved the opening but s2 ruined the feeling - damn ! You have potential and i'd love to see a more concise version. If you open as strongly as this you must close as strong (or more) 7
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
12-Dec-03/2:02 PM |
2 - unfair man !
This is a glammed up thought process but the end intrigues me. 6
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| Re: A Cup Of Tea & Company by Caducus |
12-Dec-03/2:05 PM |
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Wow i was number 2 for 49 mins. I must find that romanian vintage.
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| Re: Death & the Twisted Tree by SupremeDreamer |
12-Dec-03/2:06 PM |
Wild - I love it
Good show.
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| Re: The Glint by peaceseeker |
12-Dec-03/2:10 PM |
Though I dislike your attitude I must say a 4 is unfair.
I actually think this shows a side to of you I like and the word play is good. TAstes like diamonds I don't get?
________8________
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| Re: She is A Lover Deep Within by Joe-joe |
12-Dec-03/2:12 PM |
For your young years you are a fine writer.
I am mr pig too joe joe.
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| Re: The wise by richa |
31-Dec-03/6:01 AM |
of a half-formed thought,
just the uneven lines of
every faked smile.
This made me feel how aging is a complete waste of time if this is the case.
Classy.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
31-Dec-03/6:04 AM |
I was just thinking how much mine, yours and so many others poetry styles have changed since i discovered p/r.
Still find a feast of ideas from you, p/r is one cruel mofu of a site but the fruits come with buds after a while.
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| Re: Chaos & his dreamchild (genesis) --Revised Edition-- by SupremeDreamer |
31-Dec-03/6:07 AM |
Liked it, one reason i did was because it has at least 2 parts it can be ended with an impact.
Loved the 1st 3 big time.
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| Re: Anvil man by INTRANSIT |
31-Dec-03/6:09 AM |
Excellent title.
This could have been quite tedious but your a wordsmith meister and i have to say mr intransit....this is one of your best. (in my op) 10
deserves hits.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
31-Dec-03/6:12 AM |
not sure about the begining but the rest festoons like tinsel.
The beginning seems clumsy and i think i'm being cruel to mr potato head because that dude don't belong in a poem.
I'm warming to him. 8
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
2-Jan-04/10:53 AM |
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