| regarding some deleted poem... |
24-Dec-04/1:05 AM |
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He never found love after praying for it, believing in god raped him of belief in love (and god).
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| Re: Recognition by nentwined |
17-Jan-05/2:37 AM |
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You've managed to create one of those sayings like twain or wilde and done so in the limits of a haiku so brrrravo its def one of the best on here.
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| Re: Rendered Genderless by PsydewaysTears |
18-Jan-05/6:53 AM |
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Everything seemed good till Stza 4 which reminded me of whitney houston and that is not good. However the rests peachy.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
19-Jan-05/1:07 AM |
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Always admired your wordplay and how your poems unfold and resonate. This is beautiful.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
28-Jan-05/1:23 AM |
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monogamy even (what an ass)
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| Re: Loss by <{Baba^Yaga}> |
11-Feb-05/1:40 AM |
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this is amazing, truly awesome.
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| Re: Garage sale by INTRANSIT |
18-Feb-05/1:17 AM |
The ants are people right?
As always a wealth of meaning with a poverty of words how d'ya do it trucker?
Did u get my email?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
18-Feb-05/9:13 AM |
I will try and be as brief as possible as readers should be able to adopt there own unique interpretation and adapt it to there own circumstances.
The poem is about a woman who falls in love with the man she wants - not the man he is. Therefore he fails to keep her happy and tries to be 'the masterpiece' she has drawn and picture sin her mind. The mind and heart however are different things one feels and one thinks/sees. The reference 'the madonna of the rocks' was a painting Nuns commissioned Leonardo da vinci to do, they were very specific in how and what was supposed to be in the picture. Da vinci however being himself added his views, himself pretty much into the poem and was chastized for it displaying controversial and blasphemous images and depictions of 'Madonna'. He therefore had to re-paint it to the order they wanted. This is interesting because artists put their 'blank canvass' on a pedestal (much like we are a blank canvass at the beginnings of a relationship) and the artist creates their own interpretation of something that was/is real (for instance the lover) the title is relevant here as is the point that behind her painting the true picture is hidden (the person he is) tears wash away these layers revealing his true self, who he is (her anomaly, her fake an abberation) in short we cannot choose who falls in love with us, but we must be sure they love us for who we are or we become not just their anomaly but also ours.
Its about being who we are and not how we're pictured. Da vincis poertait of Madonna Of the rocks is a good example of someone creative who is admired but then hated for creating 'a masterpiece of disappointment' - that masterpiece is who we truly are.
I hope thats helped it is a very deep poem.
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| Re: Corner Shop, 5 Quinton Road by Caducus |
25-Feb-05/3:19 AM |
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I'm such a bastard should i keep it open and add it to my woefully low 'happy' collection.
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| Re: Yesterdays testament by Caducus |
30-Mar-05/3:06 AM |
partly inspired by Sylvia Plath's 'The Rival'
only in draft form.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
5-Apr-05/7:21 AM |
I really warmed to this one. It unfolds slowly like a bud then tulip bang !
One thing lines 6-7 you need only one 'and'.
Strong.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
8-Apr-05/7:31 AM |
your one of a few who's style gets me each time.
this has a beauty.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
8-Apr-05/7:39 AM |
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It flows fine but the openings very weak and as a lyric it holds merit but as a poem it just dont bang.
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| Re: Hard Rock by Dovina |
8-Apr-05/7:40 AM |
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lines 4/5 very clever - good poem.
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| Re: Baggage (3rd ending) by INTRANSIT |
20-Apr-05/8:28 AM |
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Would slap me sideways with a briefer last line.
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| Re: Baggage (3rd ending) by INTRANSIT |
20-Apr-05/8:28 AM |
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drop the - 'on what we' that'll help for starters
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| Re: Sudden Change by Dovina |
20-Apr-05/8:30 AM |
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Weird how the opening line seemed long but was ironed out by fiorst line of second stanza. The last line is sheer brilliance hope they interpret it as i did (wrong or not).
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
20-Apr-05/8:31 AM |
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chop out the telling bits and this could be good.
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| Re: Country Song by Caducus |
22-Apr-05/7:40 AM |
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if you play this backward sit has a happy ending.
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| Re: Disable by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. |
25-Apr-05/4:04 AM |
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