| Re: Colloid by skaskowski |
16-Mar-02/1:21 AM |
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Going somewhere but not reached it yet...
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| Re: Bloody sins of mind by RosiePosie |
16-Mar-02/1:21 AM |
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last line best line of poem
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| Re: Jericho by goldfish |
14-Jul-02/2:20 PM |
First line equating ships-plural-with one dove, singular,bothered
me a little tho I guess you mean all in a formation created a sight of "one body." Liked how you kept rhyme going, many good images. Jill S.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
14-Jul-02/2:23 PM |
Not clear enogh, some equations just don't make it for me.
Things too unequal in "weight" ties together. Jill S.
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| Re: My Heart Has Trembled by TomKWS |
14-Jul-02/2:24 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
14-Jul-02/2:27 PM |
The line" The soldier who died for you and I" should be, if you want correct grammar- "for you and me."
Spelling error first line- you meant unattended grave I assume.
Strong feeling evident, but needs a little more work. Jill S.
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| Re: A clearer lucidity by Eric Johnson |
14-Jul-02/2:30 PM |
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Some good lines- strange use of commas, though.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
14-Jul-02/2:30 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
14-Jul-02/2:33 PM |
Too saccharine for my taste.
Jill S.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
14-Jul-02/2:35 PM |
Some good parts but most obscured by parts not so well-written.
Best line: Mounts Wilson and Tamalpais getting a better look at each other.
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| Re: Anger Management by wlshepherd |
14-Jul-02/2:37 PM |
Seems pretty obvious- but you are "telling" not showing, which does
not make it very good poetry. Clear thought though.
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| Re: lost by mitchski |
14-Jul-02/2:39 PM |
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Liked the last stanza, it stands alone better than mixed in with the not-as-well written rest of poem.
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| Re: loki's end by yarlgrenn |
14-Jul-02/2:40 PM |
Good strong imagery. I liked it.
Jill S.
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| Re: Spring Haiku by Staika |
14-Jul-02/2:43 PM |
Tear and spear don't work as
being analagous enough, for me.
Jill S. I LOVE "like a heron spearing fish in the cold spring dusk."
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| Re: Untitled #2 by LucidRevelation |
14-Jul-02/2:43 PM |
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| Re: My Tongue ..... and God by BadPoet |
14-Jul-02/2:44 PM |
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| Re: Something New by feelinglistless |
14-Jul-02/2:47 PM |
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Too similar to others I have read.
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| Re: Untitled Sonnet #1 by Antwon |
14-Jul-02/2:49 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
14-Jul-02/2:50 PM |
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I was moved. Good poem. Jill S.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
14-Jul-02/2:52 PM |
Liked the computer programming
used as poetic structure. Jill
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