on some deleted poem
25 Oct 2003, 10:29 AM
Sorry there, god-o-rock. This tied my shoes together.
on some deleted poem
26 Oct 2003, 4:13 PM
Thousand year chance. Under the rome heading. Try something else please. I don't agree with the repetition in this case.9
on some deleted poem
26 Oct 2003, 4:15 PM
pencil (track). the harsh word stands out. find something softer. I hope you're comparing all the versions. Don't ovr work it.
on some deleted poem
28 Oct 2003, 9:50 AM
Again, I like it as is. It took me two worthwhile reads. the end.
on no no no bad move by earthwaterair
28 Oct 2003, 1:33 PM
Cursing someone to ooze. That's a new one.
on The Santa Anna's fire and red sun by Bachus
29 Oct 2003, 6:44 PM
Good job boning the sun. sans lube, sans foreplay, sans sandals. always. no. I don't like sloppy seconds. thanks anyway.
on some deleted poem
30 Oct 2003, 9:54 AM
Invert your closing lines. "left a stopped watch" kee-lar.
on Dale Winton's Buttocks by Ya Kid K
30 Oct 2003, 10:18 AM
someone should beat you with a spade. I'd sell tickets.
on some deleted poem
31 Oct 2003, 9:03 AM
Pick 4 of the "what good" lines and expound on each one at a time. Stretch the exposition out to 6 lines.
Total 28 lines. You have too many questions and you've overworked your point.
Total 28 lines. You have too many questions and you've overworked your point.
on Hugh Heffner's Halloween party by Jeremi B. Handrinos
1 Nov 2003, 6:50 PM
I like-f-words. ffffffERRET!! fffffffffffAScinATE!!!
and my ffffffAVORITE,
FFFFFFREDERICK
Rigglesmeyer
FFFFFFFFFFFFFRIFFFFFFLESCHMIDT!!!!
and my ffffffAVORITE,
FFFFFFREDERICK
Rigglesmeyer
FFFFFFFFFFFFFRIFFFFFFLESCHMIDT!!!!
on The dog that loved a chicken by <{Baba^Yaga}>
5 Nov 2003, 5:55 AM
I suspect you have me exactly where you want me. Smack between the hen and the dog. Trying to guess how much of what you write is true and how much is fiction. It;s a thin gray foggy line.
on some deleted poem
5 Nov 2003, 5:58 AM
great subtle rhyme.
on Today I blew yet another Jew. by <{Baba^Yaga}>
5 Nov 2003, 6:05 AM
Issues with issues. I hate it when that happens. Take care of yourself,eh?
on some deleted poem
6 Nov 2003, 5:39 PM
I'm going to be a whiney little bitch right now and ask: Why is it you can post 4 at a time and the rest of us only three? Multiple personalities excepted.
on Pot Haikus (Ode to Stoners) by Shardik
6 Nov 2003, 5:40 PM
I've never been stoned. Sad, isn't it.
on some deleted poem
6 Nov 2003, 6:47 PM
Where all minivans belong.
on some deleted poem
6 Nov 2003, 7:25 PM
Beautiful. I think maybe a bit long winded. just a bit.
on some deleted poem
6 Nov 2003, 7:30 PM
You've hit all the big stuff. gotta be somthing small. a broken wire, best guess. I never finished auto school. duh on me.
on A Succubus Wedding Ceremony by SupremeDreamer
8 Nov 2003, 5:38 AM
This sounds like a flip on something that goes on in another culture.