poemranker ::It was... by Shardik

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Other № 73795

It was...

by Shardik

Member since 2003 · Posted 6 Nov 2003 · 14 comments

It was more than I could take. It was a potato carved into a penis. It was long and heavy, and from Idaho. It was not worth baking, or chipping. It was a bearer of a thousand unborn eyes. It was, god it was... All mine. It was a divining rod from Nim. It was more than my precious. It was kind to all manner of humans It was my unyammy lover in the covers. It was my aging potato dildo. It was a friend. It was... *sigh* eaten. It was how I always knew it would end.

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 7.15 weighted 7.05 rank 29 views 339 View voting details →

20 votes so far. Yours would make 21.20 votes so far

14 comments

[n/a] SupremeDreamer 6-Nov-03/1:45 PM Reply
.. i wonder who would eat a potato that was used as a dildo.. -shiver- poor lad.
[n/a] Shardik › SupremeDreamer 6-Nov-03/1:46 PM Reply
A starving carving keebler elf?
[n/a] SupremeDreamer › Shardik 6-Nov-03/1:52 PM Reply
He would have been better off eating some twigs and moss instead! Twigs and moss make for great arts and craft too!

[note to self, apply for a position in cheesy advertising]
[n/a] Shardik › SupremeDreamer 6-Nov-03/1:59 PM Reply
The funny thing is? This is a true story about a friend of mine that fell in love with a potato.
[n/a] SupremeDreamer › Shardik 6-Nov-03/2:09 PM Reply
Now that deserves to be noted in a psychology book, a few pages before Lie2MePinnochio's fascination with wooden puppet sex toys.

One of these days I'd love to meet him.. and have him recount his affair with the potato- oh, and you have friends that are far odder than my own, congratulations.
[n/a] deleted user 6-Nov-03/2:56 PM Reply
Retread.
[4] sliver 6-Nov-03/4:38 PM Reply
Something is wrong with both you and your friend. French Fries anyone?
[8] INTRANSIT 6-Nov-03/5:42 PM Reply
unyammy. great word.
[8] razorgrin 7-Nov-03/6:25 AM Reply
Well, at least it even brought joy in the end. An acquaintance of mine put a cucumber dildo in a salad served to several. They never knew, that wasn't dressing, though it was Zesty Italian.
[10] deleted user 7-Nov-03/8:40 AM Reply
lol
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 7-Nov-03/1:46 PM Reply
This is probably the best thing you've written all year. Mainly because it's such a blatant ripoff of "I've got the eaten my crustacean soulmate blues". L.Ol>
[8] ARTIE 7-Nov-03/3:29 PM Reply
There once was a thing called spud,
that went by the name of “Stud”.
Akin to a wanker
and always a yanker
but your dreams were never a dud.

McCrumpets, anyone?
[5] baphomet 19-Nov-03/11:34 AM Reply
i wonder where u got "it was . . ." from?
*cough**there was...**cough*
[n/a] Doug 11-Jun-04/6:48 PM Reply
Wow,I thought you could'nt be worse-proved me wrong again!