| regarding some deleted poem... |
7-Dec-04/9:05 AM |
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At least age gives something in return for all that it takes. Not much, albeit. But something.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
7-Dec-04/9:08 AM |
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I'm not quite Conch-ious of the poem. Though I do like it.
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| Re: Kaleidoscopic (Re-Edit) by Sasha |
7-Dec-04/9:12 AM |
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| Re: Recognition by nentwined |
7-Dec-04/10:09 AM |
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No amount of nonsensical smut -filled commenting could ever bring this poem down.
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| Re: Digging by Dovina |
7-Dec-04/4:07 PM |
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I think -diggables- demeans the rest of the poem. Just for fun, You might use the mild rhyme and the beat from "of brimstone hot and water cold" ,patterning it that way.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
7-Dec-04/4:12 PM |
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drench drizzle rain. all three?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
9-Dec-04/2:17 PM |
Ok. this is the first poem that shows AND tells.
Integrate the first half with the second. That's a metafor I've never seen bephor. Short circuited until fixed.
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| Re: I Have... by SupremeDreamer |
12-Dec-04/12:04 PM |
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At least they're talking to you. Either I've gone so horribly off track that no lifeline can reach, or I'm so accurate now no one can complain. I'm leaning on the former. Can I borrow some dope?
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| Re: A Sinnerâs Prayer by Dovina |
16-Feb-05/2:59 PM |
Howdy, D. Nice beat here. A serious answer to your question of why I left: I think my poetry sucks. No kidding. I'm just not measuring up to what I expect of myself. And now back to our regularly scheduled silliness:
I left because, in high school, I didn't get the safety program that went:
Bill got mixed up with the wrong internet crowd.
He wants to try poetry.
Careful, Bill, it's difficult.
No, Bill, you can't spondee! You'll hurt yourself!
Too bad for Bill.
No, I get the one: Bill wants to try Rachmaninoff.
Ok. I didn't get that one, but I did get the one that goes:
Bill wants to try Air-traffic-control.
Well, you can see where that led to.
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| Re: Little Fly by PodPoet |
16-Feb-05/3:04 PM |
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| Re: Lent Begins by jessicazee |
16-Feb-05/3:35 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
18-Feb-05/6:38 AM |
The first stanza is almost a giveaway. Trim it. please?
Otherwise, BRRRRRILLIANT!
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
18-Feb-05/6:44 AM |
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We're goint ot the Milwaukee art museum today. Degas is in town. What a perfect primer. Thanks. Game , set, match.
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| Re: Brother's Egg Book by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
19-Feb-05/5:15 AM |
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Something tells me this is a one-timer, pure. I'd leave it if it is.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
19-Feb-05/5:29 AM |
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| Re: If God Was a Nihilist by baughworm |
19-Feb-05/5:40 AM |
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Seems to get rolling, then stalls. Encore? Maybe check the definition of nihilist. I'm not sure.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
21-Feb-05/5:33 AM |
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It's got a couple small holes. I'm optimistic.
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| Re: Hunger by Dovina |
21-Feb-05/5:40 AM |
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I can picture it . Since it happens so quickly, lose the commas.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
21-Feb-05/12:56 PM |
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Could this be the one that gets me into the bottom twenty? Then and only then can I feel comfortable calling myself a true "poet". Until then, I carry an upturned schnoz.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
22-Feb-05/11:22 AM |
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Hamsters have asses? i thought they only had fuzzy little.... never mind. Plenty of potential with this. Can you read more into the pattern on the sole? How/why did the pebble get wedged there. The "neck" being the head is definitely new, or is the wearer the one with the hole in their head? Throw some hips to the side.....
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