Comments byINTRANSIT, 441–460 back. Include replies

on I Have... by SupremeDreamer 12 Dec 2004, 12:04 PM
At least they're talking to you. Either I've gone so horribly off track that no lifeline can reach, or I'm so accurate now no one can complain. I'm leaning on the former. Can I borrow some dope?
on some deleted poem 7 Dec 2004, 9:05 AM
At least age gives something in return for all that it takes. Not much, albeit. But something.
on some deleted poem 7 Dec 2004, 9:08 AM
I'm not quite Conch-ious of the poem. Though I do like it.
on Kaleidoscopic (Re-Edit) by Sasha 7 Dec 2004, 9:12 AM
photophobe-chuckle.
on Recognition by nentwined 7 Dec 2004, 10:09 AM
No amount of nonsensical smut -filled commenting could ever bring this poem down.
on Digging by Dovina 7 Dec 2004, 4:07 PM
I think -diggables- demeans the rest of the poem. Just for fun, You might use the mild rhyme and the beat from "of brimstone hot and water cold" ,patterning it that way.
on some deleted poem 7 Dec 2004, 4:12 PM
drench drizzle rain. all three?
on some deleted poem 9 Dec 2004, 2:17 PM
Ok. this is the first poem that shows AND tells.
Integrate the first half with the second. That's a metafor I've never seen bephor. Short circuited until fixed.
on A Sinner’s Prayer by Dovina 16 Feb 2005, 2:59 PM
Howdy, D. Nice beat here. A serious answer to your question of why I left: I think my poetry sucks. No kidding. I'm just not measuring up to what I expect of myself. And now back to our regularly scheduled silliness:

I left because, in high school, I didn't get the safety program that went:

Bill got mixed up with the wrong internet crowd.
He wants to try poetry.

Careful, Bill, it's difficult.

No, Bill, you can't spondee! You'll hurt yourself!

Too bad for Bill.

No, I get the one: Bill wants to try Rachmaninoff.
Ok. I didn't get that one, but I did get the one that goes:

Bill wants to try Air-traffic-control.

Well, you can see where that led to.
on Little Fly by PodPoet 16 Feb 2005, 3:04 PM
Kooky.
on Lent Begins by jessicazee 16 Feb 2005, 3:35 PM
Yes JZ. Cruise control.
on some deleted poem 18 Feb 2005, 6:38 AM
The first stanza is almost a giveaway. Trim it. please?
Otherwise, BRRRRRILLIANT!
on some deleted poem 18 Feb 2005, 6:44 AM
We're goint ot the Milwaukee art museum today. Degas is in town. What a perfect primer. Thanks. Game , set, match.
on Brother's Egg Book by Jeremi B. Handrinos 19 Feb 2005, 5:15 AM
Something tells me this is a one-timer, pure. I'd leave it if it is.
on some deleted poem 19 Feb 2005, 5:29 AM
Pick a city, any city.
on If God Was a Nihilist by baughworm 19 Feb 2005, 5:40 AM
Seems to get rolling, then stalls. Encore? Maybe check the definition of nihilist. I'm not sure.
on some deleted poem 21 Feb 2005, 5:33 AM
It's got a couple small holes. I'm optimistic.
on Hunger by Dovina 21 Feb 2005, 5:40 AM
I can picture it . Since it happens so quickly, lose the commas.
on some deleted poem 21 Feb 2005, 12:56 PM
Could this be the one that gets me into the bottom twenty? Then and only then can I feel comfortable calling myself a true "poet". Until then, I carry an upturned schnoz.
on some deleted poem 22 Feb 2005, 11:22 AM
Hamsters have asses? i thought they only had fuzzy little.... never mind. Plenty of potential with this. Can you read more into the pattern on the sole? How/why did the pebble get wedged there. The "neck" being the head is definitely new, or is the wearer the one with the hole in their head? Throw some hips to the side.....