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Kaleidoscopic (Re-Edit) (Villanelle) by Sasha
The planet turns like a kaleidoscope. The old, reshaped, seems intimately new. What really changes, though? Is how we cope with the days that asassinate the hope of years, unlike the way we always knew the planet turned? Like a kaleidoscope with old components, as you brush or soap, the mirror shows each day a different you. What really changes, though, is how. We cope with stranger friends who blow us off with “Nope, I’ve plans” by wishing time could stop on cue. Still the planet turns like a kaleidoscope, turns -and the stars turn their black horoscope round any who’d observe it. But what’s true won’t really change. It’s only how we cope That, like a pendulum rolled down a slope, Can weigh and weigh on what we dare and do. The planet turns like a kaleidoscope. What really changes, though, is how we cope.

Up the ladder: Don't
Down the ladder: Welsh Rain

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.6
Weighted score: 5.3099275
Overall Rank: 3601
Posted: October 24, 2004 7:57 PM PDT; Last modified: February 21, 2005 2:24 PM PST
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Comments:
[0] fuzzylogic @ 4.224.9.23 | 26-Nov-04/11:14 PM | Reply
if there was anything lower than a zero, you would recieve it!!! wow another site where ignorence runs rampant. oh well can't blame you, you didn't know better!!! ignorence is bliss
[n/a] Sasha @ 69.138.240.116 > fuzzylogic | 27-Nov-04/10:08 AM | Reply
If you don't like this site, then you might consider departing. The poetry on your own site (and before you accuse me of being riled enough by you to visit your home page, let me say that I went to see what sort of stuff you liked) is the pinnacle of shit. Once again, instead of spewing your verbal excrement all over the site, leave if you don't like it. The only reason why you'd stay if you don't like it is to be a malicious flamer. A sad symptom of boredom. Without further ado I suggest that you go back to your third rate porn and, if you like, continue to masturbate in pining for your ex that left you 3 years ago. No one will miss you.

With that said, I will now edit my poem
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.153.196.50 | 5-Dec-04/12:10 PM | Reply
Great use of "Nope" to rhyme with "kaleidoscope"!!11
[10] INTRANSIT @ 64.12.116.67 | 7-Dec-04/9:12 AM | Reply
photophobe-chuckle.
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.130.62.63 | 21-Feb-05/5:43 PM | Reply
It puts the lotion on its skin
[10] zodiac @ 212.118.14.17 | 22-Feb-05/6:23 AM | Reply
These are the rough lines:

with old components, as you brush or soap,

with stranger friends who blow us off with “Nope,

- I can't say what's wrong with them exactly, except the first one should probably not have a "brush or" and the second is simply too run-on to end with Nope.

I can't remember how it was before. I thought maybe better?
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