Re: IT'S ONLY A JOB by horus8	30-Jul-02/9:07 PM
Don't go OVERBOARD. Actually, try to CALM THE FUCK DOWN. It would be a TERRIBLE PITY if you accidentally got the carpeted all BONGWATERED again, you tremendous PILLOCK. Vicious attacks aside, I've come to like this poem.
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Jul-02/9:08 PM
Reminds me of robocop
Re: Walls by razorgrin	31-Jul-02/7:22 PM
-=Dark_Angel=- is a middle aged british pear shaped sysadmin with lots of opinions about enoch powell and tony blair. He has been operating computers since 1974 when he wrote his first BASIC PROGRAM, which was as follows: 10 PRINT "POO POO"/20 GOTO 10/(Standard GNU Boilerplate)
regarding some deleted poem...	1-Aug-02/5:10 PM
Okay let me think. I got some claratin, that's good. Now let's see. The rank of a poem on the all time list should be a product of two factors: its rank and the amount of time it has had this rank. Okay, the simplest way to do this is to create a new variable that a poem has, call it "sum rank". This sum rank is the sum of the rank every day - what I mean by this is if a poem is ranked 6, and the rank doesn't change, it's score in this new category is 6 then 12 then 18 and so on and so forth. This method has obvious problems. Another method would be to bit by bit *remove* the center weighting that you now use on poems so that over a period of a month, for instance, the rank is a true average. Perhaps this would be the best: maintain the center weighted averages for the sake of long term ranking but eliminate them from the short term ranking. This is almost what you do now, but what I suggest is to have true averages back for all functions aside from large scale ranking since the ranks on poems now are pretty much meaningless. And as long as we're on the subject, perhaps you'd also calculate the placement of the poem and display this with its rank on user pages and at the top of the page after a user ranks a poem - for instance have it say: "this poem has a score of s out of 10, and it is rated as number n out of t total poems. responding to: ------------- Ask Darkie, he'd know. Or I could sit down and figure it out. Unfortunately I have fucking alergies and can't do anything useful right now. responding to: ------------- that's pretty funkadelic. I think I like the idea but I'm not sure how in the hell I'd calculate it. so they would be "real", but still not, in that they'd be multiplied by some weight for how long they've held their current value. so.... erm... erm?
Re: Basic comedy by Garrett S Sexton	1-Aug-02/5:20 PM
You have made me the laughing stock of the entire quadrant.
Re: voluntary, premature expulsion of fetal tissue by skaskowski	1-Aug-02/5:23 PM
Good GOD, you sound like my ROOMMATE after I spilled BONGWATER and RED BULL on the CARPET.
Re: i wake up from a dream of my mouth by silvertongueddevil	1-Aug-02/5:25 PM
Try writing a POEM about it. Kidding. Good work.
Re: Morning Dreams by ObiWonKn	1-Aug-02/5:27 PM
Sometimes I just skip to the end.
Re: recent submissions by <~>	1-Aug-02/8:48 PM
I actually thought of a haiku in the shower this morning: Is that you Jethro? / B-B-B-B-B-B-BEARS!! / QUICK MA, HIDE THE FOOD!
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Aug-02/9:56 PM
Horus is a beatnik, artist, resident of california, poet and parent. He seems to enjoy the company of various stimulants, weed, mescal and acid, combined with hours of poemranker, to that of other people, like the child he brought into the world. I suppose you've secured your place in the genetic future, horus, and having done so, feel the need to celebrate. You wonder...instead of going down to Kinkos to slave away on your Zine or webpage, why not have some fun? What prevents from buying more acid than you have ever seen in your life and taking it all at once? Imagine what poetic genius would come of a long stroll through Simone Rodia's towers in Watts? Your aimless and confused presence on this earth might seem harmless to you, but what will become of your shorties? Furthermore, Dark Angel, this poem makes little sense to me. Something about the pigs they use to find truffles/morels? Your musn't have been in top form. Stick to the sticky stuff.
regarding some deleted poem...	5-Sep-02/2:23 PM
Okay I'm going to clear up a few things: While Michelangelo was a very good painter, he hated painting. He painted because the church forced him to paint. Michelangelo is regarded as the finest sculptor of all time, nothing more or less. However, the only reason he worked was because it was his job - he did not produce work for his own consumption, gratifaction or resale. Second, artists steal all the time - or as a rather cynical instructor of mine once said they make things their own. Picasso said that the difference between a good artist and a great one is that the good one borrows while the great one steals. There is absolutely nothing new under the sun people - there is no invention but reinvention, and all that is unique to a work is its relationship with the moment in time within which it is experienced. Thirdly, this poem is pretty funny. Fourthly, there are people today who possess rendering abilities superior to Michelangelo, and many people who are superior draftsmen. The reason Michelangelo is so highly regarded is that all the things he did he did first, and everything he did is so perfect it needed only doing once. FIFTHLY I am NOT GAY people. I don't know who gets their jollies starting such rumours but I can guarantee that I am NOT GAY, and that I HATE DICK.n
regarding some deleted poem...	6-Sep-02/2:44 PM
QUAKER OATS BRLBRBLRBLRBLRLRBLBLRBLLBRBLRBLRBLBLRBLRBLRBBLRLBRBLRBLRBLLBRBLRBLRBLRBLLBRBLRBLRBLRLRBLBLRBLRBLBLRBLRBLRLBRLBBLRBLRLBRBLRBL URINE BALOONS. THANK YOU, I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK.
regarding some deleted poem...	25-Oct-02/8:02 PM
So fucking stupid it hurts to read. Similar to something in snow I peed.
Re: The Elephant Olympics by Yardbird	25-Oct-02/9:19 PM
If elephants don't have knees how do they suck eachother off?? Oh wait never mind.
regarding some deleted poem...	25-Oct-02/9:22 PM
Hint: the world isn't quite like your parents told you. Now stop whining and scamper off to Kinkos before it closes so that you can finish your zine.
regarding some deleted poem...	25-Oct-02/9:34 PM
I would have worked in a way to rhyme "carabeener" with "weener"
regarding some deleted poem...	25-Oct-02/9:37 PM
Manet kicked all of their asses around like a moldy grapefruit on a dusty brazillian slum streetcorner. And he did it before any of them were famous. How dare you equate him with Renoir and Monet. Velasquez more like. Jean Charles you fool! I told you not to spill a drop of these fine wines!!
Re: The Sea by Tarquin De La Bog	25-Oct-02/10:01 PM
Childish drivel of the worst sort! I cannot believe that someone would look to the sea for inspiration. The use of parentheses is terrible. Unquestionably the worst poem I have read on Poemranker. Furthermore sir, excuse me, but hurf urf sir you are blocking both BBC1 and BBC2!!
Re: Child of my Buttocks by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	25-Oct-02/10:28 PM
I suspect that the Child of your Buttocks was really just a metaphor for this poem. I am giving you a ten because I would like to see someone have both the best and worst poem on poemranker.
Re: Cancer Haikus by poetandknowit	25-Oct-02/10:34 PM
No wait DA, dude, I think you meant to say "Diabetic Verse" or "Malarial Prose" or even "Lou Gherig's Limerics". I am giving you a 0 because to be completely fair most of the votes are out of pity/sympathy. I must admit the work's quite good though.