The Elephant Olympics

I was sitting in a book shop, And I found a marvellous book Titled 'Mysteries of Nature' - I felt it deserved a look! Yet for all its charm and knowledge It served only to displease, For in it was this shocking phase: "Elephants have no knees!" In my mind's eye I conjured up A most horrific scene. Of elephants being banned from sports Because "it looks obscene, For pachyderms in leotards Being lifted with a crane, 'Cos they're trying to do the high jump And their legs can't take the strain!" I ran my local council up To voice my consternation, And that I'd devised a plan to end This awful situation! And so my brainchild came to life From just one fevered thought - The Elephant Olympics, A landmark move for sport! The rules have been updated To accomodate the beasts, Some games have been completely changed Or tweaked, to say the least. The high jump's now the low walk, Seeing as jumping's off the cards The relay's quite protracted - Eighty hours per seven yards! The whole event's a winner, Thanks to our toil and dedication! We're trying Penguin Skittles next - Now where's my medication?