| Re: Oops by John Rambo |
23-Mar-07/9:08 PM |
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LMAO...well constructed, story told to great effect!
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
23-Mar-07/9:10 PM |
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Not bad! Bit of a giggle...
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| Re: Oliver by Stephen Robins |
23-Mar-07/9:12 PM |
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Self wrapping is easiest, less costly if you can grasp the ribbon with one hand and teeth...
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
23-Mar-07/9:24 PM |
happiness - a concept
under-rated
never gained
by those who
over-played it...
Nice write! Ever think the 9 baskets was enough?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
23-Mar-07/9:28 PM |
lollipops prevent the foolish from dribbling...A gob-stopper for all those who missed the point!
Nice write...
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| Re: The Small Ones by Dovina |
23-Mar-07/9:34 PM |
Middle-age takes another step toward the doddering of those past thinking, while the young, who survive become the wise - all heads now nodding.
Fabulous write and imaginative story-telling.
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| Re: A Lesson by nypoet22 |
23-Mar-07/9:36 PM |
My kinda class - energetic and noisy..
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| Re: Whispers the Pariah by Enkidu |
23-Mar-07/9:41 PM |
Nice/twisted/descriptive and fast!
I like the suckling as it feels like the shore is a parasite on the mountains it washes upon.
Not sure about using 'from' in the line...bursts from within...Reads just as well without, humble opinion only.
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| Re: Thinking for you by J.B. Manning |
23-Mar-07/9:52 PM |
Just Out! Standard answer...
did you forget the 'e' in slime?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
23-Mar-07/10:01 PM |
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Hmm.....too many words used over..You was established early on, probably no need to keep repeating it. love-grew/beard-grew, too closely together I feel. I get the images, and the context, very creative..maybe work better as a free-verse piece.
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| Re: Untitled by Dovina |
23-Mar-07/10:05 PM |
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Are you all related? Has anyone fled this place in tatters? Speaking of the reviews here, not the poem. which is lovely, I like haiku and even sweetness has it's place..nice!
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| Re: Hairball by jessicazee |
24-Mar-07/8:31 PM |
Nice images, well I say nice because it appears without force, as for the actual image..real nice!
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| Re: the magic rock by nypoet22 |
24-Mar-07/8:35 PM |
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You could lost the 'but'...always seems a way of apology for what went before. Very clever write, and one to hang on the mind for a while.
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| Re: Guarded Fool by drnick |
24-Mar-07/8:39 PM |
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Love this! So stringent, seems to hold form of a rhyme scheme then loses it, excellently played out, not only in words but in the way the mind tries to be bound by form, only to lose it and let it flow...make sense? I usually don't...
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| Re: A twisted Trail in Edenâs Garden by Dovina |
24-Mar-07/8:51 PM |
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Choices and hindsight, glimpses of hidden possibilities all written here. Not 100% sure of the meaning, but I appreciate what it brings to me.
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| Re: You can't send love to a voicemail. by drnick |
30-Mar-07/4:13 PM |
Loving the title, so direct and harsh!
Last line throws me a little though, not sure why, but if I replace 'just wait' with 'hang on' I get it to flow better. Plus it ties in with being on the phone if you know what I mean?
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| Re: Her by Sasha |
30-Mar-07/4:23 PM |
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Fast life, fading fast. The third stanza stands out for me, seems I can almost grasp this and then it flows away. Sometimes that's the best bit about reading anothers poems, how the meaning is just out of reach, yet there is an understanding. Nice write.
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