Re: we wear the cries by silvertongueddevil	14-Jul-02/7:59 PM
the problem with among is that it is not divisive enough. the sadness of the night they feel isn't just hanging around passively "among" their limbs, it is really between them, it is that sadness, that sense of loss, fear of loss that is holding them apart..
Re: i'm bad at waiting by silvertongueddevil	13-Jul-02/8:03 PM
i chose to take out the word "for". it was messing up the rhyme scheme.
Re: Ifni's birthday by Cha no Onna	11-May-02/5:24 AM
funny!
Re: These things that we bury by Jody Conn	11-May-02/5:16 AM
i'm marking everyone down that uses the *s* word or the *h* word. i try not to mark down for rhyming, but sometimes i just have to. read more freud, watch less oprah.
Re: unoriginal by boogah	11-May-02/5:12 AM
mate, if you're a well has run dry then coy is what you *want* to be.
Re: For fun by Cha no Onna	11-May-02/5:07 AM
i don't know who shel silverstein is, but keep learning from him.
Re: Do Not Pay Taxes To Feed Those Layabout Scum by ruella	11-May-02/5:06 AM
wacky. are we allowed to buy our doilies or do we have to craft them? and where on the armchair does the doily go?
Re: The Green Emerald by ruella	11-May-02/4:57 AM
straight talking. this site needs more. i hate, i mean love, to nitpick, so i would lose the and on the last line. i think that will separate it from what precedes and give you more impact at the end.
Re: broken thought by spoink	11-May-02/4:53 AM
ends suddenly, but was going well. thank you for not using the *h* or the *s* words in a love poem.
Re: Morning Dreams by ObiWonKn	11-May-02/4:34 AM
so, the dew is glistening in the morning as the moon dances with the evening star (and the rest glitter around them)? or where did the time go?
Re: say I! by Sapphire	11-May-02/4:31 AM
is imaginations missing an apostrophe? and should you really be using mini in a poem that also features betwixt and thoust in the same poem? or is that the modern world leaking in?
Re: Waiting to understand by Cha no Onna	11-May-02/4:27 AM
yesterwhen? i really have to todaywhy your use of homemade neologisms. keep it up and in a couple of hundred years we won't be able to understand a word you're saying. now let's see a poem where each line is more like "quiet as a pilot light" and less like "it hurt..."
Re: Mirage (v2) by nentwined	11-May-02/4:15 AM
how did the sky teach you fear? evening sounds nice, so where did the blanket of bitterness come from?