| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
say I! (Free verse) by Sapphire my mini book it doth not lie
betwixt the lines thoust should read
for
all my attentions t'will vie
toward start of imaginations ripe, small
seed
Up the ladder:
China, Silver, and an Emerald Lipstick
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.7
Posted: March 16, 2002 1:12 AM PST; Last modified: March 16, 2002 1:12 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.666802 Overall Rank: 2070 Comments:
[n/a]
nentwined @
|
16-Mar-02/1:21 AM
|
Reply
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I really can't parse it for rhythm (the thoust and attentions t'will); unsure what small seed renames... the mini book, or ... no, just cna't parse any of it. my eyes jump all over and the slower gears in my head start to crack. :( It seems pretty...
is imaginations missing an apostrophe? and should you really be using mini in a poem that also features betwixt and thoust in the same poem? or is that the modern world leaking in?
VERY GOOD!
thoust?
I love you
222 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
