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Mirage (v2)

Member since 2001 · Posted 16 Mar 2002 · 5 comments

Great things lie beyond the horizon -- I've seen them. Dreams ride me beyond the confines of the open road, this highway that divides desert into desolation and despair. Asphalt has taught me pain while the sky has taught me fear. My life leans beside me -- engine steaming, kickstand low; chrome dissolves in motley parade, oil drips onto the road. Starting stutters it to, again, a stop. The machine is wheezing. There is beauty in the sunset, rays reflected in the clouds. A light shower massages the day's pains. The sunset cools. The shower darkens. I wrap myself in a blanket of bitterness. Great things lie beyond the horizon -- I've seen them. In dreams.

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5 comments

[5] anonymous 19-Jun-01/11:58 PM Reply

I like the encapsulation "Great things lay beyond the horizon". The image of the motorcycle is probably the tightest part of this poem. The stark negativeness of "the day's pains" and "blanket of bitterness" are too forward -- too simple. Takes the poem's potential out of it.

[5] anonymous 2-Jul-01/1:14 PM Reply

vroom!

[5] anonymous 9-Sep-01/8:04 PM Reply

i can feel the rumble as the sun trickles from the sky...

[5] silvertongueddevil 11-May-02/4:15 AM Reply

how did the sky teach you fear? evening sounds nice, so where did the blanket of bitterness come from?

[5] anonymous 14-May-02/7:10 AM Reply

This seems unfinished... What are you riding away from and where are you headed and what are those great things..... the best thing about this poem is the specificity in the s3. Strange that it's raining in your desert. The transistion from s5 to s6 comes from out of nowhere.