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Extra Strength Tylenol (Free verse) by DurtKL Acetaminophen,
The active ingredient in
Extra Strength Tylenol,
Is a pain reliever.
Uses are listed as
Temporary relief for
Minor aches and pains
Resulting from
Headaches, arthritis,
Toothaches, the common cold,
Menstrual cramps,
and etcetera.
Her symptoms
a broken heart,
overflowing tears,
And heavy breathing.
Yet,
None of these were
Listed on the label.
So, I wondered why
She downed the whole bottle.
Up the ladder:
Mirage (v2)
Down the ladder:
Dolly was a damn fine lamb
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.9384613
Posted: March 4, 2003 10:37 AM PST; Last modified: March 4, 2003 10:37 AM PSTWeighted score: 6.9384613 Overall Rank: 178 The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:
Comments:
[4]
<~> @ 167.206.181.179
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4-Mar-03/11:02 AM
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Reply
you need a colon or the word "were" after "Her symptoms"; i'd recommend the colon, and deleting "Yet," and "So," to tighten it.
[n/a]
DurtKL @ 68.23.217.176
> <~>
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4-Mar-03/11:37 AM
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Reply
thanks ... i will work on this later
Oh my. I love it! Haven't seen anything like that. At first I was like "Well this is stupid" but I totally changed my mind. This poem blows my mind! Mind if I print it out and show it to a few of my friends? Keep writing. You rawk as far as I'm concerned.
lol...thank my ex gf and my bottle of tylenol....sure u can print it out.
lol. here's your three back Durt in the form of a two. Why? This is neither informative, daring, poetically different in any manner what so ever, but overall, the theme is as common as ice cream on a hot day. You are about as creatively interesting as CNN. Sorry. Now if she drank gasoline while it was on fire you'd be onto something now wouldn't you?
here's some tylenol for your hanover
now stick it up ur ass :)
hangover
Well, predentistry. That pretty much explains it (your lack of poetry) Get your fucking face out of peoples mouths man. There's a world around you. If you want to be a poet, you go to school for it too, understand Durt? Don't come to a fucking poetry site and think you can write us a prescription of extra weak tylenol, and convince us that you have something noble to say. It's really unimpressive, and frankly in poor taste sir, good daye
We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for.
Marie Ebner von Eschenbach
"You are the children of the Lord your God; you shall not cut yourselves nor shave the front of your head for the dead" Deuteronomy chap 14 V1
"Has then what is good become death to me? Certainly not! But sin, that it might appear sin, was producing death in me through what is good, so that sin through the commandment might become exceedingly sinful." Romans Chap 7 V 13 "There is some shit i will not eat" E E cummings. Well Durt, since you like quotes and all. I don't drink by the way i quit to start quoting Marie Ebner von Eschenbach. She downed the bottle because that's what these kinds of 'sensitive' people are good at, but life is more then what can and can't fit on or in a bottle of anything huh Durt. No matter how many different ways you try to write it, it all equates to the same concluding dilema that being a cowards way out of a situation that requires thought not the selfish stupidity of a misunderstood suicide. maybe you should of wrote her more poetry and less grocery lists
hey horus, why don't u just let the guy write his own poetry man? poetry is a form of expression, why are you making it seem like it has to be perfect? I think you guys should just shut up and keep postin poetry ... jeez.
Well Betty, earlier this morning our buddy Durt here thought he was a poet and came over to my poem, gave it a four, and then made some stupid ass comment like he knew what in the fuck he was talking about when really he didn't. I was willing to let his piece of shit poem slide right by without a word, but then i went and read it and was like that fucker foured me? without having even the common decency to read the piece ( i fucking hate skimmers because they miss key shit then look stupid trying to blame it on late night studying), and well that changed everything. Ask Durt how he would like it if i came into his predentistry testing areas and was like "how can a room be outside?" or the Alovar process occurs when a human being reaches three certain age ranges blah blee blow blee? Really, i can only tolerate so many assinine cross over poets acting like they know what in the fuck they are talking about when they don't. Poetry is a way of life not a tribute to those in need of extra hobbies or shit to do over a boring summer. You disrespect the art form and poets the world abroad by approaching it with that attitude.
You are either born a poet or not. You either write or you don't. There is no fucking middle of the road. I'm sure Durt wouldn't clean one side of someone's mouth one morning while forgetting the other, and then be like, whoops, i'm sorry i was day dreaming about poetry, no, it doesn't work like that. In all honesty this poem is self serving 'what if scenario' drivel that is wallpaper and fodder for nursing home bathrooms, and hallmark stores. It's like a kid in the back seat asking, "are we there yet?" when they know for fuck's sake that we are not even close! End of story, and Durt you have my permission to correct how i brush my teeth all day long, but please don't try and discuss poetry with me unless you are ready to, and know precisely what it is you are dealing with (other then me the asshole). That's it in a nutshell betty. Penguins don't drink seal blood with polar bears that's the way of the Tundra.
i disrespect the art of poetry? please ~~~~~~~~~~
you are disrespecting everybody with this arrogant, "i'm the best poet and know everything" front . Who the hell do you think you are man? Some people do write poetry as a hobby - not everyone takes poetry as seriously as your tight little ass does. And what's wrong with that? Nothing, so stop acting like you are god's gift to poetry. And stop acting like you are above people like me and durt. Here's something nice and simple from me and durt ... sorry if it's not poetic enough for you : but please shut the fuck up.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU
Please, and shut the fuck up don't fit well together Dur ah i mean holl- i mean betty, it's just shut the fuck up or GO FUCK YOURSELF, THE EVER GRAND, FACE FUCK YOURSELF WITHA CHEESE GRATER. TOE FUCK YOURSELF WITH a elephant foot, vagina shovel your fucking vulva, mow your moose knuckle with with a pair of north korean fags dressed up likematching scissors. I never said i was the best poet. i said poet. i practice dentistry as a hobby and fiswt fucking. here try this from my sole to yours.
http://www.gangbox.com/mp3/gangbox.mp3
interesting mp3
i thought this poem was very honest....i liked it! :-)
Just like the squirrel in the broke-ass car man. That was great.
I'm changing my 2 to a 7, because you deserve better here. You've paid your dues, and this piece stood its ground, and it still does. I would make it an 8, but I hate tylenol, because my cousin died of Ryan's syndrome.
Clever, maybe.. Cliche? Definately.. Question: Does staring at that aspirin bottle in the middle of the night actually provide inspiration, or just the twitch and moan of suspended boredome? ...
cliche?
I like. Simple and yet funny. -10-
thanks
I just read the comments to this poem, and did I ever laugh, good Christ, we are a sad bunch.lol.
No, It's not mind-bending in it's originality. But, it is well done. Can't we all just get along. *sniff*
durkl, lovely little poem here, didnt see it comming, well until it plainly came that is, then i saw it.
very interesting.
3char1per 10.
[_] AABBCC rhyming scheme
[X] About romantic love [_] Arbitrary indentation [X] Arbitrary line breaks [_] Autobiographical but in the third person [_] Braggadocious [_] Clerical errors [_] Cliched rhymes (love/above etc.) [_] Cliched adolescent metaphors of darkness for despair etc. [X] Devoid of alliteration or any such linguistic embellishments [X] Devoid of rhyme [X] Devoid of simile, reification or any such literary devices [X] Devoid of wond'rous or fantastical imagery [X] Drug references [_] Elves [_] Exclamation points used to mark 'the funny bits' [_] Insipidly whimsical or zany [_] Leaving rant [_] Lower case only [_] 'Lyrics' [X] Melodramatic [_] Naively religious or superstitious [_] Obsessed with femininity [_] Overabundance of ellipses [_] Overuse of Latinate words and/or convoluted sentence structures [X] Pointedly unanswered questions [_] Protagonist has a smug name [_] Rage against the machine [_] References to the author's 'social life' [_] Repetition of a single word or phrase to the point of nausea [_] Sanctimoniously moral [X] Sappy [X] Suicide-related [_] Wish fulfilment -10-
haha what is this?
a checklist for teen angst poems? -durtkl-
Indeed not! It is the MEDIOCRE POEME CHECKLISTE.
i like this poem. it makes me feel so detached, as i'm sure you must have felt observing such a tragic event.
I like a poem that saves itself until the last line. Anyway, it's a very good <i>idea</i> for a poem. I think it could become really good. Try redoing it a half-dozen ways and see what works? My $.02.
I think Dark Angel hit upon something with her list. How tiresome all those elements are. It's therefore surprising this poem is mediocre, or maybe better, which is a great deal better than most of the stuff here. Ms. Angel's stuff isn't about teenage love--to her credit--but her vulgarity, strained rhymes and penchant for bogus archaism is very limited, and ultimately irritating. This poem isnât great, but it could be great; Ms. Angel is going nowhere.
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