Re: Mirage (v2) by nentwined	11-May-02/4:15 AM
how did the sky teach you fear? evening sounds nice, so where did the blanket of bitterness come from?
Re: Waiting to understand by Cha no Onna	11-May-02/4:27 AM
yesterwhen? i really have to todaywhy your use of homemade neologisms. keep it up and in a couple of hundred years we won't be able to understand a word you're saying. now let's see a poem where each line is more like "quiet as a pilot light" and less like "it hurt..."
Re: say I! by Sapphire	11-May-02/4:31 AM
is imaginations missing an apostrophe? and should you really be using mini in a poem that also features betwixt and thoust in the same poem? or is that the modern world leaking in?
Re: Morning Dreams by ObiWonKn	11-May-02/4:34 AM
so, the dew is glistening in the morning as the moon dances with the evening star (and the rest glitter around them)? or where did the time go?
regarding some deleted poem...	11-May-02/4:44 AM
do you know where it's going, or do you not? maybe you need two poems.
regarding some deleted poem...	11-May-02/4:51 AM
suffer the collusion of what? why don't more people write poems about toast? that's much harder than the cliche abstractions that dominate this site.
Re: broken thought by spoink	11-May-02/4:53 AM
ends suddenly, but was going well. thank you for not using the *h* or the *s* words in a love poem.
Re: The Green Emerald by ruella	11-May-02/4:57 AM
straight talking. this site needs more. i hate, i mean love, to nitpick, so i would lose the and on the last line. i think that will separate it from what precedes and give you more impact at the end.
regarding some deleted poem...	11-May-02/4:59 AM
not bad. when is a poem two poems?
regarding some deleted poem...	11-May-02/5:02 AM
it starts to hit a stride at "my mind...", before that sounds like someone warming up.
regarding some deleted poem...	11-May-02/5:04 AM
all the love you have for red wine since the birth of time? sober rain? oblivion with you? a love poem from one alcoholic to another?
Re: Do Not Pay Taxes To Feed Those Layabout Scum by ruella	11-May-02/5:06 AM
wacky. are we allowed to buy our doilies or do we have to craft them? and where on the armchair does the doily go?
Re: For fun by Cha no Onna	11-May-02/5:07 AM
i don't know who shel silverstein is, but keep learning from him.
regarding some deleted poem...	11-May-02/5:09 AM
don't tell, show. of course then you would have to write lots of poems rather than cramming everything into one.
Re: unoriginal by boogah	11-May-02/5:12 AM
mate, if you're a well has run dry then coy is what you *want* to be.
Re: These things that we bury by Jody Conn	11-May-02/5:16 AM
i'm marking everyone down that uses the *s* word or the *h* word. i try not to mark down for rhyming, but sometimes i just have to. read more freud, watch less oprah.
regarding some deleted poem...	11-May-02/5:21 AM
bzzt. the *s* word. i regret that we will never be free of the legacy of those damned romantics.
Re: Ifni's birthday by Cha no Onna	11-May-02/5:24 AM
funny!
Re: i'm bad at waiting by silvertongueddevil	13-Jul-02/8:03 PM
i chose to take out the word "for". it was messing up the rhyme scheme.
Re: we wear the cries by silvertongueddevil	14-Jul-02/7:59 PM
the problem with among is that it is not divisive enough. the sadness of the night they feel isn't just hanging around passively "among" their limbs, it is really between them, it is that sadness, that sense of loss, fear of loss that is holding them apart..