Re: Belabourin' Jack by middenHeap	28-Jan-04/10:51 AM
A deeply, deeply lewd piece.
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Jan-04/11:17 AM
To sleep as mere nudelington is to share your bed with the devil himself. Nestled 'tween silken sheets, you linger and elope. Smearing yourself against the linen, though the linen would sooner remain unsullied. Giving of yourself that which should not be given. Resting, writhing, sweating in the moonlight. Silently, lewdly, and dreaming of sin.
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Jan-04/12:23 PM
i wish i were a cape lobster swimming through the sea id swim up next to bathing girls and pinch their twitching bums with ease my bloated claws of grey and blue slicing through the sea so true i wish i were a cape lobster swimming through the sea.
Re: Cold Rain Road by middenHeap	28-Jan-04/2:12 PM
An olive spitting out its pimiento; an elderly gentleman engaging in "Single-Handed Sailing". Which is the lewder?
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Jan-04/10:24 AM
How delightfully topical!
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Jan-04/2:07 AM
If you ever get anything published by a non-vanity publisher, I will personally eat a hat of your choosing.
Re: Stronger by devina	30-Jan-04/11:12 AM
They'll be quaking in their boots when thay read this. Powerful stuff! -10-
Re: Captive by feathers68	30-Jan-04/11:34 AM
'within' is one word, as is 'cannot'. You also spelt 'bleakness' incorrectly. In general, the piece is awkward and unpleasantly written. I mean look at this line, for instance: 'The rest is fake my soul is broken.' What you've done there is squashed two stupid sentences into one, extra stupid, non-sentence. You need something to separate the two. Either a semi-colon, i.e 'The rest is fake; my soul is broken!', or just have them as separate sentences. I suspect that had you just written down what you were trying to say, without trying make it into a poeme, you probably would have ended up with something far more coherent. What you have instead is a mess with arbitrary linebreaks. Good effort though! -10-
regarding some deleted poem...	31-Jan-04/8:13 AM
Ace! Sadly my poemes don't seem to have a similar effect. Can you imagine the look on a woman's face after watching a grown man humiliating himself in public, openly performing lewd acts before a disgusted crowd, laughing madly, and smearing himself violently against the cobbles? Well double that and you might begin to understand what happened during my rendition of "Wipe Before You Weep" at the Cambridge University Women's Embroidery Discussion Group. -10-
Re: Unhearted by Miggy	1-Feb-04/4:13 AM
A weeping chuff of dignity. -10-
Re: ATLAS by Garrett S Sexton	1-Feb-04/4:15 AM
For one thrilling moment I thought the title of this piece was "AIDS". -10-
regarding some deleted poem...	1-Feb-04/4:19 AM
The title: 1. Begins with 'and'. 2. Is in all lower case. 3. Ends with a full stop. Appalling. Simply appalling.
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Feb-04/8:02 AM
'User has to wait until 3-Feb-04/6:36 PM before posting new poetry.' - PRAISE JESU
Re: 3AM At Whitey's by DurtKL	2-Feb-04/8:09 AM
Whitey's ain't shit. Lefty's is where it's at. Password: KEN SENT ME.
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Feb-04/8:32 AM
I like my Jews like I like my coffee.
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Feb-04/8:36 AM
Why did the baker have brown hands? Because he kneaded a poo.
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Feb-04/1:44 PM
Did your boyfriend tell you this was beautiful, and then did you let him call round the tradesman's entrance? 10!!
Re: Soft Speak; Hard Emotion by Blindpoetry	2-Feb-04/2:58 PM
A colossal booby of indignity.
Re: Tales From The Outhouse by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	2-Feb-04/4:40 PM
Speaking of Tales from the Outhouse, here is a horrifying one. 1900 hrs: I drained and consumed an entire diplomatic pouch of Sainsbury's Mozzarella Cheese. 2000 hrs: I began breaking wind. 2030 hrs: I noticed that the wind was significantly more foul than a normal farte, and that I was accumulating a full gas chamber at least every ten minutes. 2130 hrs: I realised that I had never before released such an inconceivably disgusting and protracted series of nauseous, sweaty, cheesy fartes in my entire life. If anyone else had been trapped in the room with me, they would have been pounding on the door and crying and pleading to be let out. I opened my window as far as it would go, to not much effect. 2200 hrs: The Browne Winds continued to blow ever more fiercely. I realised I was almost certainly permanently staining my jodhpurs, and quickly stripped to long-johns and cummerbund. The side effect was that each increasingly sickening fart was released instantly into the atmosphere instead of being caught in the ventilation chamber of my jodhpurs, and I was therefore assaulted tenfold by the awesome concentrated force of each new breaking. 2300 hrs: The length, frequency and punguency of the emissions continued to sail from strength to strength, with no end in sight. Despite my inbuilt resistance to the smell of my own gas, the stench had become quite unbearable, and my eyes were watering. I retired to the bathroom where there was a ventilation fan and hoped for respite. 2315: Unfortunately, it had the opposite effect. As anyone familiar with Boyle's law knows, the size of the room in which one fartes is inversely proportional to the mind-blowing intensity of the rectal outburst when it happens. With the pressure in my abdomen suddenly growing, I had no choice but to hold on to the towel rail, steel myself and to Jesu pray, though well I knew that He was why the Browne Winds blew. 23:20: Armageddon. 23:30: I stagger back to my desk, a broken, reamed husk of a man. Whether I will ever recover physically or morally is unknowable. My poor brave jodhpurs, upon inspection, have a colossal browne crater in the gusset; they will have to be put to sleep. The lingering stench of immoderation continues to taunt me from all corners of the room. The one thing I have to be grateful for is that I myself seem to have ridden out the storm. But -- but what's this? My bowels seem to be filling at an unthinkable rate! Good God, what if this were to escape? No -- no -- for the love of mankind, I must hold it in! I -- I can do it. I can hold i
Re: How things should be... by DeadtotheWorld	3-Feb-04/3:33 PM
Things should be the natural logarithm of the way they currently are.