Re: a comment on The Day Habeas Corpus Died by Wakeboarder20	23-Oct-06/9:16 AM
why?
Re: a comment on The Day Habeas Corpus Died by Wakeboarder20	23-Oct-06/9:16 AM
thank you.
Re: a comment on Retail by Wakeboarder20	13-Oct-06/6:58 PM
Um...no? I take it that if it's not about Jesus, it's bad in your book? Ok, gotcha.
Re: a comment on Peter by Wakeboarder20	7-Oct-06/10:08 AM
Hmmm. Isn't this a case of the pot calling the kettle black?
Re: a comment on Peter by Wakeboarder20	5-Oct-06/10:22 AM
It may be a little clearer now.
Re: a comment on Peter by Wakeboarder20	5-Oct-06/10:21 AM
Thanks for the suggestions. This is not the final form of this poem so I'll consider what you said when I revise it.
Re: a comment on Peter by Wakeboarder20	5-Oct-06/8:56 AM
The boat metaphor cane from the story of Jesus walking on water. According to the Bible, Jesus walked on water out to a fishing boat in the middle of a storm. Peter happened to be on that boat and asked Jesus to ask him to follow and Jesus did. So Peter got off of the boat and started to walk on water. But he began to lose faith (either in himself or Jesus, it's up to the reader to figure that out) and he began to sink. He called out to Jesus to save him and Jesus did and then asked him why he would doubt.
Re: Peter by Wakeboarder20	4-Oct-06/11:06 PM
Well, I revised the poem again. Now it's nothing like it was before. I had reread the story about Jesus walking on the water to a group of fishermen and peter walking out to Jesus. I wanted to do something with that story but couldn't think of what. Right now it's just a straight re-telling of the story. I'm going to try to think of what I can do to change it a little and get some message across.
Re: a comment on Peter by Wakeboarder20	1-Oct-06/8:11 PM
I changed it up to try to show what I was going for a little better. It's still a work in progress. I'd love to know what you think.
Re: a comment on Fare Price (Final Version) by Wakeboarder20	19-Sep-06/10:39 PM
Well I guess that depends on how you look at it and whether you're asking if the poem is religious or I'm religious myself. I am religious but I'd say I'm more spiritual then religious. I sort of look at religion as a tool of spirituality. As for the poem, it's probably religious...sort of. Actually, it's more of an anti-commercialization-of-Christianity which just happens to be done by those who are, usually, very religious.
Re: With Old Light by Ranger	9-Sep-06/10:27 PM
I think I'm a sucker for good imagery. Very well done.
Re: Visiting My Heart by drnick	9-Sep-06/10:20 PM
Amazing imagery. Some of the best I've read in a poem. Very well written.
Re: a comment on Jesus Around Your Neck (Final Version) by Wakeboarder20	1-May-06/12:39 AM
Ok, change made. Any comment on the new word would be great. I think using 'holy' really fits in with the theme I'm using.
Re: a comment on Jesus Around Your Neck (Final Version) by Wakeboarder20	30-Apr-06/11:43 PM
Well thank you Paul, I appreciate that.
Re: a comment on Jesus Around Your Neck (Final Version) by Wakeboarder20	30-Apr-06/11:42 PM
Thank you for the compliments. I too don't like "misplaced" and am trying to think of a good word to replace it. I will very soon. I wanted to try to switch the places of the negative and the positive in lines 6 and 7. No real poetic reasoning. Just for the sake of doing something different to keep the poem interesting.
Re: a comment on Jesus Around Your Neck (Final Version) by Wakeboarder20	30-Apr-06/11:39 PM
Well thank you very much.
Re: Freud Spoke Of A Mother's Tongue, But I Interpret Dreams by Ranger	30-Apr-06/12:11 AM
I can safely say I have no idea what this poem is about. That being said though the imagery is amazing. So even if I was completely lost almost instantly, I still enjoyed every line I read. Great job.
Re: a comment on Revised Dream (Final Version) by Wakeboarder20	24-Feb-06/10:06 AM
I've revised it some. I doubt this will be my final revision because this is about my tenth revision so far. I would just like to know if you feel I'm going in the right direction. Thank you.
Re: We Were Burnouts by jessicazee	13-Sep-05/10:49 PM
Pretty good. Needs to be structured a little though. Some grammatical errors. But overall, different and well written.