poemranker ::Visiting My Heart by drnick

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 145242

Visiting My Heart

Member since 2005 · Posted 14 Aug 2006 · 3 comments

The haunting concert hall, where stage lights echo the gothic architecture and the audience has died from sight. The ceiling bleeds with soft red velvet upon the stage of warped woods, where the ill-tuned orchestra moans melody. Three thousand dirty seats stare upon the sulking stage, like gravestones without history of a visitor. The windows behind stand like bullets to the sky -cobwebs to catch the glow of soft moonlight. Standing up, the chorus hits a poignant chord that almost scares me to my seat. With gargoyle faces they watch, I leave. Every step creaks, explodes and blasts off the arches and coves. The exit bleeds with crimson carpet cascading towards the stage. As I near the exit clear are the chords and loud becomes the voice. I rip open the heavy wood door and cannot be hear over the noise. Lights flicker and flash from the windows: unrest within. The chorus and band hold a single note-undying and certain. Outside the moon bleeds with white light and mystery and the sky remains black. To the fog-shrouded concert hall I will finally forever turn my back.

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 6.50 weighted 5.18 rank 4937 views 201 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

3 comments

[8] amanda_dcosta 18-Aug-06/10:04 AM Reply
Cooool. You gave me an eerie feeling reading this. Somehow I felt like vampire was about when you say
Outside the moon bleeds
with white light and mystery
and the sky remains black.
[9] Ranger 26-Aug-06/2:52 AM Reply
Darkly gothic, a couple of areas need a slight trim ('dirty seats', 'bullets to the sky' etc.) - mainly just word choice to keep with the very intricate theme. I do like the way that throughout this poem you give the description a stylish flourish to mirror the architecture. This is the sort of poem that a million goths would love to be able to write ;-)
[9] Wakeboarder20 9-Sep-06/10:20 PM Reply
Amazing imagery. Some of the best I've read in a poem. Very well written.