on Bunnies crazy inlove by kev_wannabe
4 Jun 2005, 8:38 AM
This is either a brilliant piece of sarcasm or a chocolate covered turd.
on some deleted poem
4 Jun 2005, 7:44 AM
You teased me with a promise of rhyme and left no reason. The artist seems to be mechanical. I do like where your going with it. It just sounds like a piece of a larger poem.
on some deleted poem
4 Jun 2005, 8:13 AM
If this is about the death of a newborn then please change line 3. If not then tell me to go F@&* myself.
on Soldier by kev_wannabe
4 Jun 2005, 8:48 AM
You mean "evil that lurks (in) this place"?
Unpeacefulness?
I'm all in for inventing words but this is too direct a poem for taking such liberties. I like the no BS approach though.
Unpeacefulness?
I'm all in for inventing words but this is too direct a poem for taking such liberties. I like the no BS approach though.
on The world's shortest poem by ALChemy
4 Jun 2005, 9:08 AM
The idea is in the spelling... I know. Corny poem. I apologize.
on A Fool's Errand by ALChemy
4 Jun 2005, 9:18 AM
Yeah I was going for the fact that we put strain on our wrists when we write, draw, paint etc. and the blood was the essence we put into our art. But I'm sure it probably has been used a hundred times.
on Writing dessert by INTRANSIT
4 Jun 2005, 9:37 AM
This poem makes me hungry.
coincidentally my nieces cake is like poetry.
It deserves an eat-I mean an 8
coincidentally my nieces cake is like poetry.
It deserves an eat-I mean an 8
on Carte Blanche by ALChemy
4 Jun 2005, 7:18 AM
I used "schizophrenic" because people look like there talking to themselves and when one rings like 5 different people try to answer thier phones.
on The Comedy of Mighty Rockmage: Combatting Old Age. by Don-Quixote
4 Jun 2005, 5:42 PM
Hypocrite.
on Vote Goats by ALChemy
4 Jun 2005, 5:55 PM
Thank you all for your comments. Some classier than others. It was a poem I penned out quickly in response to those who would rather insult you than help you.
on Bunnies crazy inlove by kev_wannabe
4 Jun 2005, 5:58 PM
It would make a good song though.
on The Comedy of Mighty Rockmage: Combatting Old Age. by Don-Quixote
7 Jun 2005, 3:44 PM
You'd think you would have vented all your hostility in your poetry but your cup overflows don't it.
This guy must be the thorn in your side. Here's a band-aid -10-
This guy must be the thorn in your side. Here's a band-aid -10-
on -750,000 in Rwanda by ALChemy
7 Jun 2005, 6:52 PM
I think you might be right about the last verse.
It was a bad Idea to drop pop culture into this and the shame on you message is redundant.
The second verse was intended to point out the rest of the worlds ignorance to what was going on but I think I can change the last part a little to add to my point.
But I'll have to work on that later.
It was a bad Idea to drop pop culture into this and the shame on you message is redundant.
The second verse was intended to point out the rest of the worlds ignorance to what was going on but I think I can change the last part a little to add to my point.
But I'll have to work on that later.
on Dreams by lil_evil_boi
8 Jun 2005, 7:04 AM
How 'bout "This is an egg. This is an egg on crack. Any questions."
on Smoky Mountain High by Dovina
8 Jun 2005, 1:55 PM
I'm not sure "likely" in verse 2 is necessary. I like the change in tone in the last verse.
on Acrylic French Nails by Dovina
12 Jun 2005, 7:30 AM
I stumbled over the last three lines a little in verse 1 on my first reading. Maybe "It would be trimmed in"
would be easier but it won't kill me if you keep it the way it is. Try omitting the word style in verse 1 and see if it gives it a better flow. I really like the original idea of using the woman's nails to symbolize a unique lifestyle even if I was kinda hoping for a catfight at the end.
would be easier but it won't kill me if you keep it the way it is. Try omitting the word style in verse 1 and see if it gives it a better flow. I really like the original idea of using the woman's nails to symbolize a unique lifestyle even if I was kinda hoping for a catfight at the end.