Re: Carte Blanche by ALChemy	4-Jun-05/7:18 AM
I used "schizophrenic" because people look like there talking to themselves and when one rings like 5 different people try to answer thier phones.
regarding some deleted poem...	4-Jun-05/7:44 AM
You teased me with a promise of rhyme and left no reason. The artist seems to be mechanical. I do like where your going with it. It just sounds like a piece of a larger poem.
regarding some deleted poem...	4-Jun-05/8:13 AM
If this is about the death of a newborn then please change line 3. If not then tell me to go F@&* myself.
Re: Bunnies crazy inlove by kev_wannabe	4-Jun-05/8:38 AM
This is either a brilliant piece of sarcasm or a chocolate covered turd.
Re: Soldier by kev_wannabe	4-Jun-05/8:48 AM
You mean "evil that lurks (in) this place"? Unpeacefulness? I'm all in for inventing words but this is too direct a poem for taking such liberties. I like the no BS approach though.
Re: Bookends by INTRANSIT	4-Jun-05/9:00 AM
That was really fun. A completely new format. quite refreshing. The alliterations make everything flow so the reader can just glide along this witty little ride you've constructed.
Re: The world's shortest poem by ALChemy	4-Jun-05/9:08 AM
The idea is in the spelling... I know. Corny poem. I apologize.
Re: A Fool's Errand by ALChemy	4-Jun-05/9:18 AM
Yeah I was going for the fact that we put strain on our wrists when we write, draw, paint etc. and the blood was the essence we put into our art. But I'm sure it probably has been used a hundred times.
Re: Writing dessert by INTRANSIT	4-Jun-05/9:37 AM
This poem makes me hungry. coincidentally my nieces cake is like poetry. It deserves an eat-I mean an 8
Re: The Comedy of Mighty Rockmage: Combatting Old Age. by Don-Quixote	4-Jun-05/5:42 PM
Hypocrite.
Re: Vote Goats by ALChemy	4-Jun-05/5:55 PM
Thank you all for your comments. Some classier than others. It was a poem I penned out quickly in response to those who would rather insult you than help you.
Re: Bunnies crazy inlove by kev_wannabe	4-Jun-05/5:58 PM
It would make a good song though.
Re: The Comedy of Mighty Rockmage: Combatting Old Age. by Don-Quixote	7-Jun-05/3:44 PM
You'd think you would have vented all your hostility in your poetry but your cup overflows don't it. This guy must be the thorn in your side. Here's a band-aid -10-
Re: -750,000 in Rwanda by ALChemy	7-Jun-05/6:52 PM
I think you might be right about the last verse. It was a bad Idea to drop pop culture into this and the shame on you message is redundant. The second verse was intended to point out the rest of the worlds ignorance to what was going on but I think I can change the last part a little to add to my point. But I'll have to work on that later.
Re: Dreams by lil_evil_boi	8-Jun-05/7:04 AM
How 'bout "This is an egg. This is an egg on crack. Any questions."
Re: Smoky Mountain High by Dovina	8-Jun-05/1:55 PM
I'm not sure "likely" in verse 2 is necessary. I like the change in tone in the last verse.
Re: Wanted by Dovina	8-Jun-05/2:25 PM
Very striking. The last line of verse 2 bugs me though. Maybe try something like 1880’s migrant lineage. Also what city is this city hall in. Still I like the moment that's captured.
Re: Racism by Dovina	8-Jun-05/2:39 PM
-or are we all tigers who dreamt we were people?
Re: Acrylic French Nails by Dovina	12-Jun-05/7:30 AM
I stumbled over the last three lines a little in verse 1 on my first reading. Maybe "It would be trimmed in" would be easier but it won't kill me if you keep it the way it is. Try omitting the word style in verse 1 and see if it gives it a better flow. I really like the original idea of using the woman's nails to symbolize a unique lifestyle even if I was kinda hoping for a catfight at the end.