Re: a comment on weather poem part 1: the wolf journal by nypoet22	13-Oct-06/3:37 PM
Having several poems going on in your head concurrently is something I relate to. Unlike some of the posters here, you and I put up our current fantasies, not even waiting for the present drunk to turn to sobriety, it seems. I understand your scheming in wanting to post two in one throw. But I must assert that even I have not gone that far. If the first part of this is really another poem, then propriety demands removing it for later dispatch, and slapping your right hand with your left for conjuring such a scheme. At least that’s my take on it. As for wordiness in the midsection, the verses beginning “even before” And “even when” seem parenthetic – can these be yet another encased poem? It really starts with “wolves cry out”, doesn’t it? And how is subjugation much different from capture? “you can still admit you'd give anything to have that feeling back” is really “you liked the feeling” isn’t it? And “For all my youth I grew in a house where the old world was freshly conquered” is “in youth, the old world was conquered.” Stuff like that. Overall I like it.
Re: weather poem part 1: the wolf journal by nypoet22	12-Oct-06/7:58 PM
The 3-line verse,(verse 4?) would make a stronger beginning, preceending the beginning/end philosophy, I think. Then in the middle it gets a bit wordy, but comes back near the end to the wolf and a surprise ending.
Re: Bitter by Ranger	12-Oct-06/3:15 PM
So hypnotic is its rhythm and form that it must be a form besides free verse. Toward the end of reading it, I need no sense or plot, so carried is it with its own device.
Re: a comment on Dead Inside by drnick	12-Oct-06/2:58 PM
Yes, I fully understand your desire not to talk to females anymore. We are so emotional and unreasonable all the time! Why, if you should try a little kidding on a woman, she's never a good sport about it, but always takes it in some sensitive way you never intended.
Re: forest morning by fiefofum	11-Oct-06/7:11 PM
an unusual and interesting form, not quite working yet.
Re: Figid Rrigid by Hostileintent	11-Oct-06/7:07 PM
Form aside, (what does it matter?)it's a good observation, but what does "punctual" and "newer" have to do with it?
Re: a comment on Dead Inside by drnick	11-Oct-06/7:04 PM
Chummy guy talk is in violation of Poemranker Rule No. 789576895867
Re: a comment on Dead Inside by drnick	11-Oct-06/7:03 PM
I like it, and I like grammar. Have at it.
Re: a comment on Timing by Dovina	11-Oct-06/7:00 PM
Yes, I think there are parts of the world still in the Middle Ages. Maybe they still consider women possessions, not quite human, of value as cows and horses are. I think these woman would have fewer children if they could decide on the issue, and the world would be a better place. What do you think of the estimate of 9 billion people by the yeat 2050?
Re: a comment on Timing by Dovina	11-Oct-06/6:56 PM
Was Paris any better?
Re: To My Love by Lola	11-Oct-06/10:20 AM
I would question whether "no promises" weakens this love, and conflicts with "never-ending."
Re: Poem from a gurney by INTRANSIT	10-Oct-06/7:20 PM
I think it's about having blood drawn. Okay, but it'd be stronger to say so. The notebook analogy is good. Then in the cantina I lose the metaphor, but like the thought.
Re: Caveat by MacFrantic	10-Oct-06/1:43 PM
It's the kind of thing that needs a steady rhythm to carry it. Mostly, you've done that, but Verse 2, for example, might go like this or somesuch: Once every morning And twice before bed I empty the old thoughts from my head Always you'll find me Just pacing my room Wandering and wondering About what you think
Re: Dead Inside by drnick	10-Oct-06/1:38 PM
Punctuation and grammar detract from a good start. It's really all one sentence.
Re: a comment on A Scientist’s Prayer by Dovina	9-Oct-06/4:37 PM
It is I who am dim, it seems. I meant "undo." Thanks for nagging. Maybe I've caught dyslexia from Alchemy. Where is that dude anyway? Wow, I just noticed that "curios" should be "curious." (Knocks self on head)
Re: Islands by helenwales	9-Oct-06/4:27 PM
The opening metaphor could work, I think, if you held true to the beginning. But islands that slip, past and future divided, uniqueness to just your lives, dreamed - these things don't seem to work.
Re: a comment on A Scientist’s Prayer by Dovina	8-Oct-06/7:20 PM
Thanks for taking the time.
Re: a comment on A Scientist’s Prayer by Dovina	8-Oct-06/5:14 PM
My purpose here is to write without sensory image, lacking thematic metaphor, and devoid of biting polemic or clever play of sound. My purpose, therefore, is to bore you. Having been duly bored and insulted, would you kindly go back and see if these lines make any sense.
Re: a comment on A Scientist’s Prayer by Dovina	8-Oct-06/5:14 PM
If a person is angry at pretense, then perhaps that anger will undue it, off-rhythm or not. I get excited with unusual takes on devotional themes – a difference between us, I guess.
Re: love by *.*ReAdY To SnAp.*.	7-Oct-06/12:41 PM
No it doesn't