Poemranker [Poem: Caveat] [by MacFrantic] Fri Apr 26 06:24:42 PDT 2024

I'm not who I am I'm not who I'll be I'm not who you think I am I'm not who you see Once every morning And twice before bed I empty the old Emptiness from my head Constantly you'll find me Just pacing 'bout my room Wandering and wondering 'Bout what you must assume I give to you this caveat In moments of distress That though you know me now You know not me unless You see I'm not who I am And I'm not who I'll be I'm not who you think I am And I'm not who you see

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Up the ladder: Hobo. [Redux Revision v.2]

Down the ladder: Did I Miss Something?

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Weighted score: 5.0
Overall Rank: 7912

Posted: October 10, 2006 10:56 AM PDT; Last modified: October 10, 2006 10:56 AM PDT
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Comments:

[7] Dovina @ 70.38.78.229 | 10-Oct-06/1:43 PM | Reply

It's the kind of thing that needs a steady rhythm to carry it. Mostly, you've done that, but Verse 2, for example, might go like this or somesuch:

Once every morning
And twice before bed
I empty the old
thoughts from my head
Always you'll find me
Just pacing my room
Wandering and wondering
About what you think

[8] drnick @ 141.218.121.241 | 11-Oct-06/11:49 AM | Reply

nice rhythem, but I think Dovina is right...pretty good otherwise.

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