Replying to a comment on:

Caveat (Free verse) by MacFrantic

I'm not who I am I'm not who I'll be I'm not who you think I am I'm not who you see Once every morning And twice before bed I empty the old Emptiness from my head Constantly you'll find me Just pacing 'bout my room Wandering and wondering 'Bout what you must assume I give to you this caveat In moments of distress That though you know me now You know not me unless You see I'm not who I am And I'm not who I'll be I'm not who you think I am And I'm not who you see

Dovina 10-Oct-06/1:43 PM
It's the kind of thing that needs a steady rhythm to carry it. Mostly, you've done that, but Verse 2, for example, might go like this or somesuch:

Once every morning
And twice before bed
I empty the old
thoughts from my head
Always you'll find me
Just pacing my room
Wandering and wondering
About what you think




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001