Aeuphoria

Member since 2003 · Posted 19 Jan 2005 · 2 comments

The conventional lightness what brings me under behind the thunder tightness The stalking eventide what sends things awry shan't soon die 'tis inside

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3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

2 comments

[8] Shuushin 19-Jan-05/7:57 PM Reply

"things awry" is a little vague, don't you think - maybe a missed opportunity given the sparseness here.

I think its better without that last line, really.

[7] dclark 8-Aug-07/7:41 PM Reply

maybe change thunder to rumble, that rhymes to simple, stick with the vowels they drag it out better, ya know?