Re: a comment on weather poem part 3: the hurricane (renga) by nypoet22	16-Oct-06/6:22 PM
Smallish bees crawl up her nose gather sweets for winter treats
Re: a comment on Timing by Dovina	16-Oct-06/11:14 AM
At least you didn’t make any typos that I caught. Your comment does make sense, but it rambles from the problem of overpopulation into the sanctity of marriage. I support you on that sidetrack. But where you glibly say that war and illness will naturally correct overpopulation, I must complain about the suffering such corrections cause. If we are doing any better than past generations at making life better and alleviating suffering, let us look for means of stopping life before it starts, not after it outwits the planet, or kills itself fighting over resources. Surely, modern humanity can agree on this basic premise.
Re: a comment on Timing by Dovina	15-Oct-06/7:27 PM
And if the mind and body are trapped, they look for any way out.
Re: a comment on Timing by Dovina	15-Oct-06/7:26 PM
One dictionary says layed, but downrates the usage as improper. Maybe it can be done either way.
Re: a comment on Timing by Dovina	15-Oct-06/7:21 PM
Arguments loke this should be won by the person having the most to lose if his way is not followed. I yield the world's future to you.
Re: a comment on Timing by Dovina	15-Oct-06/3:08 PM
Amanda is not one of them, but she has said that most of the women in India are virtually enslaved to their husbands and have far more children than they want. We cannot just tell them to rebel. But it is WRONG. It's a society problem that will kill the earth as we know it if something doesn't change.
Re: a comment on Timing by Dovina	15-Oct-06/2:26 PM
"Absolute liberty" for women is better than slavery of women, which we have, for the most part in India and other countries where women have many more children than in the UK and the US. The goal should be no more than two children per woman, and yes, oterh remideis besides "absolute freedom" are good. But studies show that if women are given the choice, they will have far fewer babies in third world countries than they do now.
Re: Let's Grovel For Jesus And Fight The Naughty Satan! by Sing4Jesus!	15-Oct-06/2:20 PM
I assume that all these Jesus poems are satire on Christianity. Perhaps you see hypocrisy in the church and wish to expound your rebellion. Ironically, Jesus did the same thing. “Do not according to their works,” he said of the religious leaders, “for they say, and do not.” Matthew 23:3. Many other passages like this.
Re: Tidal by helenwales	15-Oct-06/2:12 PM
Somehow the rigid structure of haiku does not jive with stream-of-consciousness writing. Just holding 5-7-5 most of the time is not haiku. I'd make it all one stanza and let it flow.
Re: Wry Edward's wry smile by oddgreenout	15-Oct-06/2:05 PM
Limericks usually march along with sing-song rhythm in addition to the rhyming scheme. What is a hawlk? A few too many commas, it seems, and a meaning covered in unusual language.
Re: a comment on Timing by Dovina	15-Oct-06/1:34 PM
Thanks for reading it thrice. What I said was more like “More hands = more chickens = more revenue.” The problem is that our present six-billion population is destined for nine billion by 2050 if we don’t scrap that idea. And women all over the world are mostly willing to scrap it, if only their ruling men would agree.
Re: a comment on A Poetry Reading by Dovina	15-Oct-06/1:23 PM
The concept of finality is a transient one, unless we’re talking about death. Everything else seems to me non-final. We can say that something has ended – a marriage, a job, college, parenthood, an amputated limb – but it has a way of resurrecting, like her decision never to read poetry again. I had to laugh at your suggestion on “marvel and laugh,” not because it isn’t metrically better, it is, but because you hold such a high regard for meter. You are a poet, while I am a mere philosopher.
Re: a comment on A Poetry Reading by Dovina	15-Oct-06/1:23 PM
The “extreme result” is her decision based on feelings of bitterness and hurt. It’s meant to show that in such an emotional state, our thinking loses objectivity and clarity. It mires in our perceived dilemma.
Re: Do you fit in-to the dark? by Hostileintent	14-Oct-06/10:46 AM
Better in the edit. "some-what" can lose the -
Re: Gilded Lily by drnick	14-Oct-06/10:42 AM
I like the appearance of "Lily" near the end. But why in quotes? The mis-grammar is so consistent that I see it's intentional. By half way through this, I get the style of it, which was confusing at first. I think it's a style that would take either a long poem or a series of poems to make sense of.
Re: a comment on A Poetry Reading by Dovina	14-Oct-06/10:37 AM
Awkward wording might show that, if I could figure a way to word it awkwardly without sounding like a clutz.
Re: Do you fit in-to the dark? by Hostileintent	14-Oct-06/10:34 AM
"deed" = "deep"? "known or unknown" is wordy, why not leave it out. Actually, I think "Have you ever travelled / on your own /To some place known" is a good start.
Re: a comment on A Poetry Reading by Dovina	14-Oct-06/10:18 AM
Yes, I think you did, though I don't know a 'Mr. Tanner.' I seldom delete, but this cried out for it one late evening. Then after some changes, walla', it's back. "lack of finality" is reality of many real-life events, isn't it? Maybe she will read again someday, but at this point in time, the ending is final. Regarding stressed syllables at stanza ends, I fail to see the need for it. I know you are much more atuned to the sound of poems than I am, so perhaps you can convince me of the need.
Re: a comment on snot by fattony	13-Oct-06/3:42 PM
I disagree, it's no better than Edna.
Re: My heart belongs to you by creepshow	13-Oct-06/3:41 PM
Lines like "infinite lies" tell us you have not yet settled upon what you want to say.