Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

Do you fit in-to the dark? (Free verse) by Hostileintent
Have you ever travelled or roamed? Maybe even on your own, Travelled at night, when it's dark, When the night makes it all so stark? Have you ever been on a bus, looking out, At the furry lights racing about? I have. It was during the height of my torment. Indeed,it made me feel some-what important. I felt different, I felt strange, I felt as though I had changed. And I liked it. It gave me direction, and it gave me purpose, Sometimes it helped me not to be nervous, Although I know it was only on the surface, For way way down, deep down inside, I no longer fitted & I should hide.

Up the ladder: Alive
Down the ladder: A Dark Account of History

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 11
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 4.6666665
Weighted score: 4.9602656
Overall Rank: 8654
Posted: October 14, 2006 5:23 AM PDT; Last modified: October 14, 2006 10:39 AM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[7] Dovina @ 12.72.35.8 | 14-Oct-06/10:34 AM | Reply
"deed" = "deep"?

"known or unknown" is wordy, why not leave it out. Actually, I think "Have you ever travelled / on your own /To some place known" is a good start.
[7] Dovina @ 12.72.35.8 | 14-Oct-06/10:46 AM | Reply
Better in the edit. "some-what" can lose the -
[n/a] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 | 16-Oct-06/12:53 PM | Reply
Have you ever thought of rhyme
As some sort of metric crime?
179 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001