Re: a comment on Give it up Max by Stephen Robins	19-Jan-07/9:10 AM
Nay, but the three is not hidden Nor under my skirt, ridden He possesses no strength And could find it at length With ten thousand poems Even more.
Re: a comment on Stripping the willow by ecargo	19-Jan-07/9:04 AM
“Sighted along the long draw of alder, oak--so flies the blood burn of old sacrifice.” The long dash confused me.
Re: Give it up Max by Stephen Robins	19-Jan-07/8:53 AM
His behavior’s not ace Nor is his face He tugged on my muff But it’s sturdy enough What’s amazing to me Is he can’t find his 3.
Re: Stripping the willow by ecargo	17-Jan-07/7:55 PM
“Pound your swords into plowshares,” your spears into sickles, which do burn more naturally in the hands. Strange, using the British spelling of plow. Suggest “murmuring” replace the obscure “sough.” Suggest conventional sentence structure in the last one, as done in the others.
Re: a comment on Brains for Barter by Dovina	17-Jan-07/1:55 PM
ok, lol, seriousness not expected.
Re: a comment on Wreck of the Poor Anchor by Dovina	17-Jan-07/1:52 PM
And thanks again for commenting on the poem, instead of using it for a soap box.
Re: The man who loved Lennon by Caducus	16-Jan-07/2:50 PM
The musical undertones work ok, starting with Lennon (presume John Lennon). But for David to express his love with shillings to buy plectrums (very inexpensive) seems weak. Maybe it’s why she walked away. Bringing back the bass voice in her heels is good. Some facts about this I’m not up to speed on.
Re: Pointless by fadedlove	16-Jan-07/2:39 PM
These personal diatribes seldom work as poems. "Play the red card, walk away" is what we do when no other reason for refusing sex comes immediatly to mind.
Re: a comment on Wreck of the Poor Anchor by Dovina	16-Jan-07/2:35 PM
Thanks for reading, then voting.
Re: a comment on Wreck of the Poor Anchor by Dovina	16-Jan-07/2:28 PM
You don’t like everything, as you have just said, and said before. And rockmage cannot even find a simple 3 he left in plain sight on one of my poems. So who is it again who has no talent?
Re: If she thinks if she believes by Prince of Void	16-Jan-07/11:29 AM
I think you mean "then" in Line 3, not "so". Even so, it's unnecessarily tied up in "if"'s.
Re: I heart you by thetrev	16-Jan-07/11:26 AM
Would be better withoiut the "There"'s. i.e., "Magnetic words on the fridge"
Re: Fury by wilco	15-Jan-07/7:32 PM
It’s the kind of exposition and soap-boxing I’ve been blasted for these several years, and the kind of thing I still get all gushy about. But “irony of fate is lost” – is too nebulous even for me. Good otherwise.
Re: a comment on Fanatic by Dovina	15-Jan-07/7:23 PM
The most interesting returns from writing a poem are the responses so far from what I was thinking while writing and editing it that it’s as if the English language carries with it sub-cultures of meaning, invisible to me like the baggage of bacteria we all carry in our bodies. Yet, on considering a response such as yours, I see how it could be sincere, and how the poem falls apart if understood in that way.
Re: a comment on Fanatic by Dovina	13-Jan-07/6:04 PM
Alright: Fanatic (a poem about Stephen Robins) Walled in a city of visions, (London) he believed in beauty and order. (of dubious leanings) Bogged in a gray slough of facts, (about abominable acts) his tongue had learned to mock, his lips to sneer. Prepared with opium hopes, (well, you get the gist) he came greenly on life, to receive flowers of tenderness and gentleness he had little known.
Re: Same old rancour (a yellow stream of consciousness) by ecargo	13-Jan-07/12:42 PM
Yes, again! Another toast, another round. Ain't it fun? lol
Re: a comment on Fanatic by Dovina	13-Jan-07/12:39 PM
Thanks for the raise.
Re: a comment on New Year by wilco	13-Jan-07/12:37 PM
Suggest Bm, Em, F# major - somber sounds for a dismal theme. (I know, a major key can carry a somber theme, too.) Not bad for being drunk. I could say, “Not that this is bad, but I bet you could write a really great thing if you saved up and all that.” But I won’t. Not bad sober either.
Re: a comment on Fanatic by Dovina	13-Jan-07/12:25 PM
I like the first better too. It’s just that, here and elsewhere, few people got it. Would you have gotten it without the revision?
Re: a comment on Brains for Barter by Dovina	13-Jan-07/12:23 PM
You are right; I write too much. Only a fraction posts here. Is there a 12-step program for the likes of me? Is it what kept you away? Welcome back, with sympathy, Dovina