Re: shaving by crooked_smile	9-Apr-05/10:43 AM
Then it's not perfection, is it?
Re: Kansas City by PodPoet	9-Apr-05/10:39 AM
Well stated, though I disagree with your conclusion.
Re: science by whispern_smoke_wisp	9-Apr-05/10:37 AM
Science has explained away none of the magic of love between dog and human. The study of evolution only enhances the magic.
Re: a comment on Middle-Aged White Woman by Dovina	8-Apr-05/5:23 PM
Look, we already promised you your ten acres and a mule. We're just working out a few details, then we'll deliver.
Re: a comment on Moments (or) Suicide by Dovina	8-Apr-05/5:20 PM
Well, I guess I didn't make that clear. I graded my life on a straight-line percentage basis. Please grade yours on curves witnessed, curves felt, curves entered, or any other basis you choose for counting Moments.
Re: Poets are dead! by Prince of Void	8-Apr-05/2:40 PM
Not to wake you up again, but don't you think this is too dismal. After all, if there's absolutely no good and no life in what we do, then why are you doing it?
Re: Mixtapes (or We Always End Where We Began) by philn	8-Apr-05/2:33 PM
It's a nice play on cliches. I don't see the mixtape analogy, but I'm not in the music business. It seems cliches are unavoidable - birth, life, death - cliche, cliche.
Re: a comment on Moments (or) Suicide by Dovina	8-Apr-05/2:26 PM
The last verse is held hostage to a poeticism called "Internal Punctuation." Some poet had convinced me that it’s ok to leave out commas and periods at the ends of lines, and to include them only if they fall within a line. I think the idea might be bunk. The last verse, properly punctuated, is: My life reviewed and judged like this might be considered, in some dark hour, not just bunk, but, as in this ordinary time, for its just worth.
Re: Forbidden Fruit(2) by thepinkbunnyofdoom	8-Apr-05/12:18 PM
I get the forbiddenness you want her to see. But it seems that if you want to use that Biblical analogy, it would be better to talk of Eve and a serpent and the enticing fruit on a tree she was told not to touch. And twist that image into the things your are saying.
Re: a comment on Alive by emilyowey	8-Apr-05/12:12 PM
Nothing is more sure Than a change from nothing Than a new view of an old sight Nothing worth holding More than moments of silence, nothing More than hours no one could plan No sensation Like the feeling of complete And total surprise, like sunshine Out of nowhere No words Like the ones no one expects Nothing more real Than complete surrender
Re: a comment on Front Range Toll Road by sliver	8-Apr-05/8:00 AM
Better. Still the strong language in "You will not move . . " and in the last line, is off-putting. With those lines it's a war cry, and loses its strong beginning.
Re: look east when you leave west by Caducus	8-Apr-05/7:55 AM
Something about writing a poem about never writing another poem is very nice. Greek gods, not Gods. Good title.
Re: a comment on Moments (or) Suicide by Dovina	8-Apr-05/7:39 AM
Yeah, for perhaps the first time in my life I agree with you. See the edit.
Re: Ambition by Billy Fights	7-Apr-05/12:40 PM
No very well put together, not clear, chiches, and the repetition doesn't help.
Re: famous by crooked_smile	7-Apr-05/12:33 PM
and a hell of a time trying to decipher your words. You have too many of them here and no very well put together.
Re: March by the_poetess	7-Apr-05/12:31 PM
Nobodies are sad. You probably didn't mean that, but it's good.
Re: ceiling by not_a_philosopher	7-Apr-05/12:29 PM
The last verse doesn't fit - it would have to deal with shame to fit. then -> than.
Re: Front Range Toll Road by sliver	7-Apr-05/12:26 PM
You are at your best when you do the buffalo and asphalt. When you do the political "without delay" just to rhyme with "play," well, stick with the buffalo.
Re: No Worries by Dovina	7-Apr-05/12:20 PM
May I suggest that this page has become tangled with long threads entwining of comments. If anyone wishes to continue any of these discussions, perhaps they should do so on one my other poems.
Re: a comment on No Worries by Dovina	7-Apr-05/12:13 PM
If I come to believe that, I will not likely begin a terrible life, but rather be too bored to care. :)