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Front Range Toll Road (Lyric) by sliver
Why do you build these scars around me? Asphault and concrete to surround me. You steal our land and nature's song, Leaving open wounds where the buffalo belong We will defend our ancesteral rights And while you may not understand our fight, Believing us to be only rudimentary, You will not move our family cemetaries. For every inch of pavement that you try to lay We will find another roadblock, another delay. Eastern Colorado is not Your private playground, So build your little highway through someone else's town.

Up the ladder: The Long-Tailed Bird
Down the ladder: *-UNTITLED*-

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Weighted score: 5.2384057
Overall Rank: 4053
Posted: April 6, 2005 10:40 PM PDT; Last modified: April 7, 2005 9:29 PM PDT
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Comments:
[8] Dovina @ 12.72.8.237 | 7-Apr-05/12:26 PM | Reply
You are at your best when you do the buffalo and asphalt. When you do the political "without delay" just to rhyme with "play," well, stick with the buffalo.
[n/a] sliver @ 207.200.116.134 > Dovina | 7-Apr-05/9:30 PM | Reply
What about the revised version?
[8] Dovina @ 12.72.13.182 > sliver | 8-Apr-05/8:00 AM | Reply
Better. Still the strong language in "You will not move . . " and in the last line, is off-putting. With those lines it's a war cry, and loses its strong beginning.
[10] deleted user @ 205.188.116.72 | 18-Apr-05/6:32 PM | Reply
Very creative...So, I can look for the headline: Local man saves tiny town through poetry. -10
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