Re: Miles Apart, You Say by Dovina	7-Jul-07/6:54 AM
Today is 7/7/07, the luckiest possible. Now gimme tens.
Re: a comment on What the log book doesn't show by INTRANSIT	7-Jul-07/6:44 AM
I'd hug a truck driver who swings wide around me, but they're hard to catch. Have you seen the wheat piled on the ground because the elevators are full? It's a bumper crop in western Kansas, and a soggy failure in east Kansas. Lots of smiles around Tribune, sunflowers too.
Re: a comment on Consider the Grass by Dovina	5-Jul-07/6:34 PM
From where I sit on this fine evening in Ordway, Colorado, looking west, the Rockies rise as pleasant relief from the vastness of the middle America plain over which I've pedaled these last weeks. Beyond them lies Utah and the desert, only to be followed by the Loneliest Road in America - Highway 50 accross Nevada.
Re: Summer Loving by Christof	5-Jul-07/2:29 PM
Slips on her heels to achieve the S Of breast and spine, of calf, of self. These lines could start something from her POV. As it is, it gets quite twisted.
Re: Cheers to the Eve of Christmas by lexxie100	5-Jul-07/2:24 PM
Better than your last one. Shows more insight that at 15-person should have. "My story will become Just one more volume to Line the Fates shelves" could be shortened or omitted. The "fate" thing is much overdone in poems, not just yours. Try to find a new twist on it. The last two lines are good.
Re: a comment on What the log book doesn't show by INTRANSIT	5-Jul-07/2:05 PM
Only if you don't know the following or don't care: When you're driving a semi on a two-lane road at 65 mph in Kansas, and a sidewind is pressing on your left side, and you're overtaking a cyclist, and the grass alongside the road is tall, you will see the future in your right mirror. Even if you see nothing because there's no grass, the cyclist will bow her head, finger the breaks and prepare for a blast of wind on her back. It makes her wobble and sets the scene for suction that follows immediatly and can pull her under your trailer. Some truck drivers know this and care. They pass as far to the left as possible, and if traffic does not allow this, they slow down. Others either don't know or don't care.
Re: What the log book doesn't show by INTRANSIT	4-Jul-07/6:25 PM
I does not show the bicyclist you went clear over to the other shoulder to pass, knowing that your wind gust might knock her off balance if you passed too close, and her sigh of relief. Was that you?
Re: (Title pending) by INTRANSIT	4-Jul-07/6:19 PM
There's this collective pinna to which you all have emotional ties. It's difficult for all of us (women) to get arround it.
Re: Dark void by Prince of Void	4-Jul-07/6:15 PM
Oh, there’s a lost love in a dark void? Most intriguing.
Re: Promise Knot by PsydewaysTears	4-Jul-07/6:12 PM
Some of the rhymes seem forced. It comes out fine in the end though. Is it your wedding vow? Jk
Re: Farewell by Skamper	4-Jul-07/6:10 PM
I think commas would be better than dashes here. “What say you – Conscience” means that what you say is Conscience. But I think you are asking your Conscience what it says.
Re: a comment on Consider the Grass by Dovina	4-Jul-07/3:24 PM
Outward zoom – a good name for what I was trying doing in the first three verses. Then I switched to a kind of historical march in the second half, and finally, an almost religious chant at the end. Sorry you don’t like the personal entry at the end. I don’t know how to bring the feeling I experience here in Kansas into the poem without getting personal. See my comment to Paul.
Re: a comment on Consider the Grass by Dovina	4-Jul-07/3:24 PM
In western Kansas they’re harvesting a bumper crop of wheat; and the price of wheat is double normal. I see a lot of sunburned smiles in Tribune. Their fortune follows good weather in the west and crop failures in the soggy east, driving up the price. I have no stake in this except to watch the combines, the trucks and the grain elevators rising like temples above each tiny town in the Plain.
Re: a comment on Consider the Grass by Dovina	4-Jul-07/3:23 PM
Agreed on “resilient” and “lesson.” Most folks say I’m too thin; you’ve caught me fat. I’ve also taken some of the awe out. Rankers get tired of too many edits, so I’ll not post the changes. Thanks.
Re: Lullaby by lexxie100	1-Jul-07/2:02 PM
L4 seems there only for the rhyme.
Re: The Demonbaker's Death by PsydewaysTears	1-Jul-07/2:00 PM
I agree with what ranger will say: Too much prose, too little rhythm. The same story will sound better with iambs and such. It's a good story.
Re: a comment on Consider the Grass by Dovina	1-Jul-07/1:52 PM
I've changed it. Hope I didn't ruin it for you.
Re: a comment on Consider the Grass by Dovina	1-Jul-07/1:50 PM
Always the feeler of sway, hearer of rustling leaves, of rising accent, river’s current. Doctrinally, of charismatic leaning, I suspect—the feel and flow of grass superceding its sound religious dogma. Your awe may come with gentle wind that tosses heads in rhythmic waves, mine beneath a concrete cylinder rising tall above a wheatfield town. Please don’t change. And look again for sway; I’ve breathed on it.
Re: a comment on Consider the Grass by Dovina	1-Jul-07/1:49 PM
I have a memory of the Grassland, the Great Plain between the Rockies and the Ozarks, a conclusion from a collection of observations, most of which have passed from mind. In that sense I must say that those observations did not take place and only my image of their whole remains, an impression. I have memory images that correspond to sensual observations in the past. “Interesting how your mind works with what you see,” as you say. And I may be imagining rather than remembering. Only rockmage mentalities deny this.
Re: Deeper by Skamper	30-Jun-07/4:46 PM
Love ends! Frightened now?