Re: Oaxaca city fragment by poetandknowit	10-Sep-02/6:43 AM
Really good visceral stuff, but might read more easily if 'passed' became 'past' and if the women searched in the past tense with the cocks.
Re: Russian Roulette by <~>	10-Sep-02/6:45 AM
This tells the story econmically, with a very restrained tone that really underlines the tragic events - very good.
Re: Pagan ME King by proteusplum	10-Sep-02/6:49 AM
Rest assured I shall be first in line with the cleaver. This is smashing.
Re: A Memory of Something Yet to Come by brazen	10-Sep-02/7:31 AM
Theidea of being just a sequel is very depressing
Re: Breakfast in Bed by brazen	10-Sep-02/7:32 AM
Your food metaphor works really well. the first stanza is impressively tight - think if you left it at that you'd have a good poem as well.
Re: Pigeons by Limness	10-Sep-02/8:29 AM
I like this. Is it set in Venice?
regarding some deleted poem...	10-Sep-02/8:31 AM
This is indeed dreamlike. Should the 'has' in the last line be 'have'? - it refers to the lanes, doesn't it? Otherwise, this is very pretty.
Re: Lavendar Gate by <~>	10-Sep-02/8:58 AM
As usual, graceful and gracious. And slightly medieval here - I think it's the 'kepp' that does it.
Re: Lavendar Gate by <~>	10-Sep-02/8:59 AM
That's 'keep'. Sorry.
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Sep-02/3:52 AM
The rhythms of this are very strong, I think it would work well as a song lyric.
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Sep-02/3:54 AM
This poem repeats it's themes quite a lot - there's not a lot of progression in the middle few stanzas. Perhaps you could think more about the forward movement of your argument and I think you will end up with a shorter, tighter poem. Again your rhythmic pulse is very strong.
Re: Ever Felt by nightii	11-Sep-02/5:47 AM
Also that capitalised SCREAMS is jarring rather than exciting. And have you ever felt this stuff?
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Sep-02/7:11 AM
The entrance of Jesus is a masterstroke. Youa re arse obsessed. This is not a criticism.
Re: moon rants by bluwiz	11-Sep-02/7:47 AM
This is great. if I were the moon I'd feel like this - ignored, unwanted, for ever in the sun's shadow. And so bored with the dark. Oh yes indeedy.
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Sep-02/7:57 AM
Atmospheric, but it goes nowhere. And who is Dave Matthews? I don't think we have this person in Britain
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Sep-02/8:03 AM
This addresses the same sort of ideas as my 'Surfer' poem (I've taken it off the site), but is much much better. Magic realism, it rocks.
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Sep-02/8:25 AM
What is Everquest anywy?
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Sep-02/8:29 AM
This is muddled then straightforward and then muddled - the lack of punctuation or 'meaningful line breaks' (to quote DarkAngel) makes the sense very hard to follow. What does history have to do with love? You haven't really shown me.
Re: At the Olde Absinthe by Limness	11-Sep-02/8:40 AM
Next time you're in Britain, you can get the real thing. And I tell you, it makes things weird. And friend of mine broke his leg in two places falling over a blade of grass having drunk absinthe, while it made me almost burn down a bar in Prague. Freaky, aniseedy, makes your eyes beady.
Re: father Worked Nights by poetandknowit	12-Sep-02/1:32 AM
If I were you commenting on this poem, P&K, I would, 'oh another poem about urban American working folk. Bored again. Yawn'. It seems that we all have our favourite little subjects doesn't it? It's called experience and observation from our lives. But as I'm not you I won't draw attention to such a blindingly obvious point and then pretend that it's a crucial critical insight. Instead I shall say I like this, including the 'cat and mother'. But you need to put some birds in it...