Re: a hero jfk by dylansong	12-Sep-02/3:08 AM
It's good to commermorate the man, but this is a bit idealised.... what about JFK's womanizing, the Bay of Pigs, the increased involvement in Vietnam? JFK has been turned into a saint so much that we forget that he was just a man.
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Sep-02/3:12 AM
I really like the first stanza, 'cos Blair is always standing up for something he hasn't the first idea about.
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Sep-02/3:14 AM
Again you've got one really great stanza here - number three with the chaos theory butterflies, which is a great metaphor for certain Great Leaders as this time
Re: I have no Idea?...? by brazen	12-Sep-02/3:32 AM
I too am foozled. Super fine.
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Sep-02/3:36 AM
I think the last two lines are the best. I wouldn't worry about P&K's comment as I think you're telling a simple story simply and there's nothing wrong with that. I like the poise you have, not overdoing the language - 'You see' is a good distancing effect. But yeah, sort out those ??????s. And what's 'wier'?
Re: Billie's Threnody by Frass	12-Sep-02/3:46 AM
I like the last few lines of this but your attempt to suggestively evoke Lady Day through your list of epithets (especially 'mahler' - I don't know this word except as the name of the composer, is that what you mean by it? Please tell!) doesn't really work for me - reductive (esp. imbiber) rather than descriptive or empathetic.
Re: Thank You Mom by savannah	12-Sep-02/3:52 AM
Yep, I think this is private rather than public poetry. Your Mum will love it. Just a little grammatical point - as you've put 'For though' in one line, you don't need the 'but' in the following line.
Re: Mean Matt was so mean, when a homeless guy asked him for change he gave him a -blank- by beakism	12-Sep-02/6:37 AM
I like poems that namecheck 'Blankety Blank'.
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Sep-02/6:50 AM
This is weird and wonderful
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Sep-02/8:40 AM
Crikey. This is sex-o-matic. You are a saucy thing, this is too much for me on a Thursday afternoon. Take a look at my revised 'Gone Away' - zzinnia and I sussed out the ending earlier today.
Re: We visited the gay men on the veranda by Frass	13-Sep-02/1:16 AM
This is funny - I especially like your last couple of lines.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Sep-02/3:17 AM
'only your hands, your eys' - no heart? Maybe that is modern love?
Re: Full Fathom Five by vulcan	13-Sep-02/3:21 AM
I like your turning to literature for comfort and finding some salvation there. 'gray Elegy' also brings to mind Thomas Gray's 'Elegy in a Country Churchyard' - is this deliberate?
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Sep-02/5:33 AM
If you're writing a comic poem, you shouldn't have to put 'funny' in brackets after the title....
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Sep-02/5:33 AM
Why?
Re: Hamptons by bondjedi	18-Sep-02/2:40 AM
Sounds like my kind of girl
Re: The Politics of Fashion by bondjedi	18-Sep-02/2:43 AM
Witty - 'Dawson's Creek' should always be flipped from.
Re: A black sanded tropical vision by horus8	18-Sep-02/2:48 AM
This is my favourite of yours becuase that lost innocnence and the fracturing of the self that goes with it comes out so loud and clear. Your focus is much tighter than usual and the poem really benefits from it. This is great.
regarding some deleted poem...	18-Sep-02/3:05 AM
England expects every man to do his duty....
regarding some deleted poem...	18-Sep-02/3:33 AM
I disagree with your last two lines as well. I don't think every ear is tuned out, and don't believe that people fear poets of any kind - marginalise, maybe. And I don't know about the correlation of depression and poetry, I think it's a connection that can be made too facilely. But alomsot all poetry has a consciousness of death behind it somewhere (otherwise why write anything down at all?) and I think that is your mouse of truth for me.