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Billie's Threnody (Free verse) by Frass Dusty throated saxophone
Black lady singin' blues
Too long.
Artist, artiste, mahler, painter
Planer, strainer, cleaner, make it leaner
Fleecer, teaser, describer, imbiber
Polecat alley animal
With a gleam in your eye
Show me the sky
Make it bluer each time.
Lost her charm, her spark
A park with no meadowlark
The heart of the ocean
old
Not as in age
But, story told
Or book
Whose many pages
Have been lurked through
By the dark.
Up the ladder:
Vespers and Cobwebs
Down the ladder:
1-1=1/2-1/2
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.888889
Posted: July 19, 2002 9:17 PM PDT; Last modified: July 19, 2002 9:17 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.9444447 Overall Rank: 9002 Comments:
[2]
dilips_10 @ 203.197.190.94
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20-Jul-02/3:23 AM
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Reply
doesnt has the soul
good spin.
here frass shows us once again his amazing ability to hone it down...to...yes..yes...to sculpt..i'm awed...
I like the last few lines of this but your attempt to suggestively evoke Lady Day through your list of epithets (especially 'mahler' - I don't know this word except as the name of the composer, is that what you mean by it? Please tell!) doesn't really work for me - reductive (esp. imbiber) rather than descriptive or empathetic.
Pretty darn good! I really like the idea of "dusty throated saxophone" - tell me, young sir, do you ever listen to the great tenor saxist Lester Young, 'cos he was close to Lady Day (hell, he came up with that moniker!), appeared on some of her finest cuts, and it just so happens his fabulous tenor sound was the dustiest and warmest sound going (or was that a deliberate point you were making?) Good work, sir - you have style (said he, shuffling off to his record collection with a glass of malt whiskey...)!!
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