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Pigeons (Free verse) by Limness
Leonardo loved their lunging. Swiftly diving, twisting Masters currying the currents: His favorites in flight, he Drew them, drew from them. Old man with paper bag Keeps his daily date with this brood, Throws mercy to the dirty, Smiles as they laugh together. Carillon tower scatters blessings from above, Releases sweet peals and flings wings Displaced and dispatched, to proclaim Sunday's glory in aerial acrobatics. They never miss the wild, a rock ledge, When city shelves and squares Feed all; flocks of fornicating Flyers find urban life fulfilling. Fledgling's sooty emerald neck impossibly twists: With his red eye fixed, he sleeps in the open Unconcerned with passages. St. Mark's bells toll the Matins and Wake him; the mating game begins Under the auspices of papal regalia. He struts clucks coos woos her; She flutters, flustered by his preening, succumbs. Another pedestrian kicks away As a wash of wings sings upwards of wind, of sins, Of the Mercy of the Almighty That keeps the sparrow fed.

Up the ladder: Falling...
Down the ladder: Goodbye

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.25
Weighted score: 5.1490035
Overall Rank: 5224
Posted: September 6, 2002 12:12 PM PDT; Last modified: February 6, 2003 7:14 PM PST
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Comments:
[9] Lenore @ 64.252.107.149 | 6-Sep-02/1:49 PM | Reply
You're good, very good. 9/10
[8] Christof @ 195.172.133.226 | 10-Sep-02/8:29 AM | Reply
I like this. Is it set in Venice?
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.86.113.159 | 11-Sep-02/9:04 AM | Reply
Old man with paper bag feeding pigeons. Did you make that up yourself?!?!?!?!?!?1?!/!?!/!11 also, I don't understand how "wakes him" follows from "st marks bells toll the matins". Is there supposed to be some sort of punctuation there?
[n/a] Limness @ 167.206.181.179 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 11-Sep-02/9:08 AM | Reply
because the pigeon is sleeping in the open square and the bells wake him? is that unclear? can you suggest a different phrasing? as for the old man, yes i did make that up myself. almost feels cliched, doesn't it? imagine that, something you see everywhere being paralled with something you see everywhere! wow, sometimes i amaze even myself!!
[n/a] Limness @ 167.206.181.179 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 11-Sep-02/10:52 AM | Reply
You are correct; it fixed it. Thanks.
[8] Frass @ 151.200.239.150 | 11-Sep-02/8:59 PM | Reply
Very good poem, Lmnss. Love the alliteration and wordplay. What does 'toll the Matins' mean?
[n/a] Limness @ 24.44.185.41 > Frass | 12-Sep-02/7:53 AM | Reply
in the Middle Ages, the church bell tower would call people (monks and nuns, especially) to prayer. It was used to mark time as well. Matins, Ave, Evensong--all of these were times of prayer throughout the day, either rung on different bells, or with different sounds. Matins was just before dawn. So 'toll the Matins' here, means sunup.
[9] Caducus @ 62.105.88.10 | 7-Feb-03/9:13 AM | Reply
This was well worth reading your writing is rich in imagination, and there i was expecting something crap (your title isn't alluring like the poem) *9*
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