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Goodbye (Free verse) by Nicholas Jones I must make clear
that I can only offer you
words that will not help -
I have no capacity for action
and deplore all unncessary movement
I see people in the street
who are afraid of stillness
and I pity their hectic lives
you must have known
I never loved you
but that for a time it pleased me
to pretend that I did
George III was described
as the mollusc king
who never found his rock
he was mad and misplaced America
but in all situations
I can always find a niche
and keep my dreams within it -
to stray away is suicide,
if I am undefended, the snipers
will need only minutes
to pick me off
so I prefer not to leave
my attic room
I have to first
protect myself
behind the walls
where all, normally, is safe
and this choice renders you superfluous
you bring dangerous passions into my ordered life
and this undermines the rigour
with which I choose to order my domain
Up the ladder:
Pigeons
Down the ladder:
Carson City
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.25
Posted: November 11, 2002 2:16 AM PST; Last modified: November 25, 2002 8:06 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.1490035 Overall Rank: 5226 Comments:
[n/a]
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.8.97
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11-Nov-02/2:38 AM
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Reply
Write more about this 'mollusc king'. Perhaps he will know the TERRIBLE SECRET OF THE SEA.
I'll come back to this a couple of times before I number it.
and the brethren say satasfactory. i don't care for you as a human being, because your not yet, but i will buy you a beer after work one day..so here. i enjoyed reading it on all the levels that count in the attic across the street from you...here i'll flash my light twice to proof it.2
The person in the poem isn't me. It's a character I invented out of my own head, who isn't real. Although I do live in an attic room. I'll give a prize to anyone who can work out where I got the mollusc king from. There's a clue in my personal details on this site.
Oh, the power of Google: The Guardian: "'Crazy Legs' Conti walked off with the world oyster competition last April, swallowing 14 dozen in an hour. "I eat to win," declared the mollusc king. Mrs Conti doubtless had a lively night." Classic.
You have a lovely clarity to your work. The George III bit threw me at first--seemed as if it should be literally parenthetical, but then, in context, its disjointedness seemed appropriate. Typo in line 6 of last stanza? "where all, normally IS(?) safe?"
As my surnames 'owen' I had to support the welsh half of me. You possess a lot of talent Mr Jones, you illustrate literature in to clarity with your style.
Maybe our paths will cross again, I would value your opinions/critique on my work. Are you a wales fan? their playing better than England at the moment at soccer
I'm glad you like my poem. I only have one Welsh half, too. But now I am living in Wales and studying Anglo-Welsh poetry all day that half seems to have have got bigger.
As it happens, I really don't care about the football. Wales beats an obscure ex-Soviet republic in the Caucasus and everyone gets very excited. There are better things to care about.
fix your 1st line 'must' ok?
Done
Line 19, "and my keep my dreams within it"... is that supposed to read, "and keep my dreams within it" ?
9.
Yes. I accept all responsibility for these mistakes. Actually, I might blame Bill Gates instead.
<Bachus light a clove and pours them both some scotch>
So, Nick, who do you enjoy reading on poemranker, and what's up with the whole dark angel introspective? 243 view(s)
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