DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Goodbye

Member since 2002 · Posted 11 Nov 2002 · Edited 25 Nov 2002 · 12 comments

I must make clear that I can only offer you words that will not help - I have no capacity for action and deplore all unncessary movement I see people in the street who are afraid of stillness and I pity their hectic lives you must have known I never loved you but that for a time it pleased me to pretend that I did George III was described as the mollusc king who never found his rock he was mad and misplaced America but in all situations I can always find a niche and keep my dreams within it - to stray away is suicide, if I am undefended, the snipers will need only minutes to pick me off so I prefer not to leave my attic room I have to first protect myself behind the walls where all, normally, is safe and this choice renders you superfluous you bring dangerous passions into my ordered life and this undermines the rigour with which I choose to order my domain

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12 comments

[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 11-Nov-02/2:38 AM Reply

Write more about this 'mollusc king'. Perhaps he will know the TERRIBLE SECRET OF THE SEA.

[n/a] INTRANSIT 11-Nov-02/3:37 PM Reply

I'll come back to this a couple of times before I number it.

[9] Bachus 11-Nov-02/3:45 PM Reply

and the brethren say satasfactory. i don't care for you as a human being, because your not yet, but i will buy you a beer after work one day..so here. i enjoyed reading it on all the levels that count in the attic across the street from you...here i'll flash my light twice to proof it.2

[n/a] Nicholas Jones › Bachus 15-Nov-02/3:22 AM Reply

The person in the poem isn't me. It's a character I invented out of my own head, who isn't real. Although I do live in an attic room. I'll give a prize to anyone who can work out where I got the mollusc king from. There's a clue in my personal details on this site.

[n/a] ecargo › Nicholas Jones 22-Nov-02/9:55 AM Reply

Oh, the power of Google: The Guardian: "'Crazy Legs' Conti walked off with the world oyster competition last April, swallowing 14 dozen in an hour. "I eat to win," declared the mollusc king. Mrs Conti doubtless had a lively night." Classic.

You have a lovely clarity to your work. The George III bit threw me at first--seemed as if it should be literally parenthetical, but then, in context, its disjointedness seemed appropriate.

Typo in line 6 of last stanza? "where all, normally IS(?) safe?"

[8] Caducus 22-Nov-02/3:15 AM Reply

As my surnames 'owen' I had to support the welsh half of me. You possess a lot of talent Mr Jones, you illustrate literature in to clarity with your style.
Maybe our paths will cross again, I would value your opinions/critique on my work.

Are you a wales fan? their playing better than England at the moment at soccer

[n/a] Nicholas Jones › Caducus 22-Nov-02/3:24 AM Reply

I'm glad you like my poem. I only have one Welsh half, too. But now I am living in Wales and studying Anglo-Welsh poetry all day that half seems to have have got bigger.

As it happens, I really don't care about the football. Wales beats an obscure ex-Soviet republic in the Caucasus and everyone gets very excited. There are better things to care about.

[8] Caducus 22-Nov-02/3:23 AM Reply

fix your 1st line 'must' ok?

[n/a] Nicholas Jones › Caducus 22-Nov-02/3:25 AM Reply

Done

[9] OneFingerAnswer 24-Nov-02/10:06 PM Reply

Line 19, "and my keep my dreams within it"... is that supposed to read, "and keep my dreams within it" ?
9.

[n/a] Nicholas Jones › OneFingerAnswer 25-Nov-02/8:06 AM Reply

Yes. I accept all responsibility for these mistakes. Actually, I might blame Bill Gates instead.

[9] Bachus 16-Jan-03/12:13 AM Reply

<Bachus light a clove and pours them both some scotch>

So, Nick, who do you enjoy reading on poemranker, and what's up with the whole dark angel introspective?