Re: a comment on Kiss Me by smiffy84	zodiac 213.186.177.253	21-Jun-05/2:55 AM
re: "but unless you have actually cut yourself, you have no place telling me or anyone else how such things "Should" be addressed." I disagree. Care to tussle?
Re: a comment on Nonsense POEM #14687 by Bankrupt_Word_Clerk	zodiac 213.186.177.253	21-Jun-05/2:53 AM
I've never heard that definition of surrealism. It strikes me as kind of a misunderstanding on Thomas' part. Anyway, surely most surrealists would have agreed with his idea - that there is a mediating influence. As in the most famous surrealist exercise, the Exquisite Corpse, you always have at least of bit of line showing to guide you. For another example, Lewis Carroll didn't completely randomize his word coinage in "Jabberwocky", he just made up a consistent language that didn't make any sense. If brillig, slithy troves, wabe, borogroves, mome raths, and so on were real English words, the poem would have made perfect sense. As things stand, it only makes dream-sense. Bankrupt_Word_Clerk, Carroll IS formal nonsense poetry. So are a bunch of others from his time. It was kind of an industry.
Re: a comment on Nonsense POEM #14687 by Bankrupt_Word_Clerk	Nicholas Jones 81.159.153.95	21-Jun-05/1:37 AM
I always thought cuppa was a quintessentially English word. I'm glad it's used somewhere else in the world.
Re: a comment on Treblinka Re-opened by Caducus	Caducus 172.202.162.240	21-Jun-05/1:15 AM
Thats the point exactly to demonstrate how things are still not so different. I'm just exploring the theme and its been so done I doubt anyone can say anything thats not been said already.
Re: Rise (incomplete) by Miracle	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.133.40.25	20-Jun-05/10:57 PM
and maybe the Texas sun can call you west, and the moon from Houston can call you home.
Re: a comment on Wash by Bankrupt_Word_Clerk	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.133.40.25	20-Jun-05/10:55 PM
someone else do your laundry? the heaps are separated by color, type of cloth etc... arranged is the right word. glad you laughed.
Re: Treblinka Re-opened by Caducus	Blue Magpie 212.205.251.55	20-Jun-05/10:47 PM
I find the constant changing of tenses, from present to past and back again rather strange and I do not see how it helps the poem.
Re: Wash by Bankrupt_Word_Clerk	Blue Magpie 212.205.251.55	20-Jun-05/10:36 PM
'Arranged in heaps', disarranged perhaps There was only one bare foot? Some punctuation would improve it, but it was a laugh.
Re: Flicking by INTRANSIT	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.133.40.25	20-Jun-05/7:28 PM
I'm just confused. It may not be your fault that I am ignorant. chicane= a movable barrier used in motor racing ? "thrusting against movable barriers" ?
Re: Treblinka Re-opened by Caducus	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.133.40.25	20-Jun-05/7:20 PM
why blame God?
Re: Flicking by INTRANSIT	Dovina 69.175.32.185	20-Jun-05/5:42 PM
In the place I used to work we built spirals into the plans - those transitions to real curves wherein the wheel can easily adjust by a half-stoned arm, and after several such easings, drivers become chicaned to expect them. Just thought you'd like to know who to blame and how ironic the victory.
Re: a comment on Father’s Day by Dovina	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	20-Jun-05/4:30 PM
I'm not fond of mirrors.
Re: A Message from my Dreams by Joshua_Tree	INTRANSIT 204.110.228.254	20-Jun-05/4:30 PM
5and 11 are the pimpleyest. If you can fix those it's kosher with me.
Re: a comment on A Message from my Dreams by Joshua_Tree	INTRANSIT 204.110.228.254	20-Jun-05/4:28 PM
But it can also lead to some really awesome and interesting rhymes if given enough rein.
Re: a comment on Slam. by darby pyn	darby pyn 207.200.116.197	20-Jun-05/3:15 PM
My friend said the same thing. thanks bankrupt. I'll fix it.
Re: Slam. by darby pyn	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.129.152.137	20-Jun-05/2:51 PM
okay.. I really meant I liked the first 3 stanzas.. color me ignorant.
Re: Slam. by darby pyn	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.129.152.137	20-Jun-05/2:49 PM
first two stanzas I liked. thought of sex.. then BINGO..it was you saving her from a mosh pit fall down.. nice surprise. I'd drop the last two commentary stanzas...
Re: a comment on The tender side. by darby pyn	darby pyn 207.200.116.197	20-Jun-05/2:37 PM
The line “ let me be flattery for my plagiarism” comes from the phrase “ Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery”. what I mean is I take all the beauty the person I admire has and when I feel bad I think of her and I feel better. thank you for your suggestions. darby.
Re: a comment on Nonsense POEM #14687 by Bankrupt_Word_Clerk	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 69.231.17.25	20-Jun-05/1:02 PM
only people I've ever heard say "cuppa" were from New Zealand.
Re: a comment on The tender side. by darby pyn	Dovina 69.175.32.185	20-Jun-05/12:42 PM
OK, I'll try again, but you're dealing with a hard-nosed realist. (Glad you liked Unclean.) The first sentence is so difficult that you might want to put it later in the poem. Try starting with the third and fourth sentences because they flow well and give clues to your theme. The idea of channeling, balanced with ghost is good. The plagiarism phrase is grating and confusing.