poemranker ::Slam. by darby pyn

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 127556

Slam.

Member since 2002 · Posted 20 Jun 2005 · Edited 20 Jun 2005 · 7 comments

Expose my figure in a kneeling pose my arm extended to your shoulder palm cradling the back of your neck. the other pressed hard against the floor for balance. eyes connected never losing attention while my back suppresses the blows of the repeating cycle. a blind rotation with no care for obstacles and restraint. I rise quickly. stiff with determination pull you up on to your feet. you pant, your complexion red from exhaustion you reach for your knee damaged from the fall. squinting hard, teeth clinched so much pain! I react without thought. lift you over the moving border and watch the tide guide you above the crowd to the front of the stage. at first sign of retrieval I raise my hand and smile a goodbye. arms soaked with blood and perspiration. a wall of bodies melt behind the lights frame with a hundred silhouettes in motion. tart adrenaline. my skin tastes like salt. tears of joy. arm and arm a connected mass with too much energy and the perfect outlet. glass children. sharp, transparent and fragile. jagged edges swing like a pendulum with a loud warning. impatient for action, eager for participation, starving for reality always fueled by emotion. so arrogant with our cynicism we annoy each other pointing out the others hypocrisy. scorn, curse, spit then shake our heads and laugh. proud of our sardonic sense of humor that keeps it all in perspective. the meaning of our protest, the conviction of our discontent. as long as ego and fashion stretch the ceiling to hide the sky and paint stars on an artificial night there will be contempt.

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mean 3.00 weighted 4.91 rank 9756 views 164 View voting details →

2 votes so far. Yours would make 3.2 votes so far

7 comments

[6] Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 20-Jun-05/2:49 PM Reply
first two stanzas I liked. thought of sex.. then BINGO..it was you saving her from a mosh pit fall down.. nice surprise.

I'd drop the last two commentary stanzas...
[6] Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 20-Jun-05/2:51 PM Reply
okay.. I really meant I liked the first 3 stanzas.. color me ignorant.
[n/a] darby pyn › Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 20-Jun-05/3:15 PM Reply
My friend said the same thing.
thanks bankrupt.
I'll fix it.
[6] Joshua_Tree 21-Jun-05/7:08 PM Reply
Before you get too upset about someone voting you a "0," look at who it is. This system is subject to a few abuses and it appears that you and I are rockmage's victims. I urge you to join me in returning the favor.
[n/a] darby pyn › Joshua_Tree 21-Jun-05/8:13 PM Reply
Agreed.
[n/a] Blue Magpie 21-Jun-05/10:27 PM Reply
I do not think rockmage is limiting himself really, on the 12 of June he rated all the poems I had then posted, one recieved a three, the others were all zeros and ones. I think he is probably going through an insecurity problem so I shall not join the dance, it would not help I believe. Nevertheless, if I were the type who dished out zeros this might well be a candidate for one.
[n/a] darby pyn › Blue Magpie 21-Jun-05/11:25 PM Reply

Harsh. but at least you expressed your opinion.
on second thought. if he deserves a zero I’ll
gladly give him one. but not out of spite.
if he want’s to give “0’s” and giggle behind
his screen. I could care less.