drnick
on Left by Miggy
29 Jul 2005, 10:45 AM
Boooooooooooooooooooriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Pretty good, but nothing special. I like the chorus.
You're right, the last part does ruin it, especially the last line. Thank you.
Thanks for the kudos... but the two objects could both be on one side of a line, like Belfast and Buenos Aires are both on the west side of the Greenwich meridian.
It gets trickier with regard to things that are on both sides of a line, like London. Or a marriage.
Seriously, that's kind of clever. Because the only way you couldn't draw a line around the earth to pass between two objects is if one was on top of the other.
Hey, you're right. It IS so much better than reality.
zodiac
on My Mornings were Filled with Nightmares and Pies by T. Jonathron Remp
29 Jul 2005, 4:18 AM
"Sweet smelling clouds Darken my skies" is the best description of the men's tent at an Arab wedding I've ever read.
Arabic is the most etymologically simple language I've ever heard of. For example, the Arabic slang word for "shit" is a combination of the roots "end" and "ball". The Qurannic word for "shit" is a combination of "to put onesself outside" and "oil".
That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying IF you wrote it for yourself, it's great (if a little overexposed). IF you didn't, I don't think it works. Saying I wrote this for people who think like me is the same as saying I wrote this for myself.
I don't think it's a necessarily unhealthy realisation, but the way I think it would be healthy is not the way it's set up in the poem.
Even the finest Persian carpets must have at least one blemmish, lest they affect a perfection that touches the buttocks of God. And so it is with poetry, the obvious exception being 'The Spaz' by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?
"Nappy" is an old celtic word meaning "One who is not ashamed." I have no idea why Stephen employed it in a diaperesque context. I really like your poem by the way.
Was this at a garden after dinner? I was busy getting twenty pieces of silver from my NEW powerful friends at the time.
We all have a crack in our base but we keep on trying. As another poet on this site said earlier, "Why have the choice if we never choose?" Keep sticking your hand into the clay, Netwined. You'll get there someday.
Girl, you got poem bearing lips.
Great last line.
If the poem had ended at the word orgasm it would be a ten. The :) and comment suck the joyous insanity out of this poem.-6- for getting it half right.
You are welcome...
Hmm. Good question.
Perhaps it could have been, but it was rushed to the kiln with too much attention paid to the "now" of the coils, not enough of the base. The combing is applying a comb to the coils (it's meant to be a coil pot) to smooth the edges together and make a flat surface out of an inherently ridged one.
I'll try to give it some more serious thought when I wake up. :)
Thanks!