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a love not meant to be (Free verse) by nentwined one coil at a time, apologies loop higher;
a steady spiral--progress, a mix of liquid hope
and concrete fears
combed together, a smooth surface;
a jug that I fill with love and offer
to you
ignoring the cracked and leaking base
Up the ladder:
Jesus Creased
Down the ladder:
Brighter
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.818182
Posted: July 27, 2005 10:39 AM PDT; Last modified: July 27, 2005 10:39 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.909091 Overall Rank: 1441 Comments:
We all have a crack in our base but we keep on trying. As another poet on this site said earlier, "Why have the choice if we never choose?" Keep sticking your hand into the clay, Netwined. You'll get there someday.
nice job- you really captured the simultaneous hope and awareness of flaws that we bring to relationships
great poem
has some charm
578 view(s)
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Perhaps it could have been, but it was rushed to the kiln with too much attention paid to the "now" of the coils, not enough of the base. The combing is applying a comb to the coils (it's meant to be a coil pot) to smooth the edges together and make a flat surface out of an inherently ridged one.
I'll try to give it some more serious thought when I wake up. :)
Thanks!