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CommentsComments 16081–16100 back, including replies. Only comments on poems

wilco replying on The Scout by wilco 3 Sep 2005, 8:30 AM
You are right about that....I'll have to think on it.
wilco replying on The Scout by wilco 3 Sep 2005, 8:26 AM
I don't really like to explain my writing too much but this is about New Orleans. Everything here has a particular meaning as to what I wanted to get across. Maybe it's not getting across....
INTRANSIT on Cinder Mint Disaster Garden by MacFrantic 3 Sep 2005, 8:16 AM
I saw mental patients in a garden. I'm not kidding.
Dovina replying on The fight by INTRANSIT 3 Sep 2005, 7:02 AM
If it's a naughtiness scale, you get 10.
Dovina on The Scout by wilco 3 Sep 2005, 7:00 AM
"virgin canvas" has no picture, yet a tale unfolds. Also, "scout" as if searching ahead for some group of people - maybe another word. A way it could have gone, and might go.
INTRANSIT replying on The fight by INTRANSIT 3 Sep 2005, 6:56 AM
not naughty enough judging by the scores. ha!
Dovina on The fight by INTRANSIT 3 Sep 2005, 6:55 AM
Very naughty! Go straight to your room!
INTRANSIT replying on First Love by Dovina 3 Sep 2005, 6:55 AM
maybe that's what they mean by -too gay.
INTRANSIT on The Scout by wilco 3 Sep 2005, 6:54 AM
-extraneous- good word but it bugs me beat-wise. Something about l-3 and l-4 in the first don't jive.
Dovina replying on First Love by Dovina 3 Sep 2005, 6:51 AM
The lady next to me did that in a charismatic meeting and hit me in the eye.
INTRANSIT replying on First Love by Dovina 3 Sep 2005, 6:48 AM
no. i'm sure he got it. skipping is sooooo much more fun with wild arm flailing . you should try it!
INTRANSIT replying on First Love by Dovina 3 Sep 2005, 6:46 AM
Ultimately I would say that rhythm is not more important. I DO think the first 3 lines set up a nice beat and I thought follow through would be good. Hmmm. Maybe l-4 is okay. one more beat in 5?
Dovina replying on First Love by Dovina 3 Sep 2005, 6:45 AM
Skip straightly around zodiac, if you want. Do you think he really didn't get it?
Dovina replying on First Love by Dovina 3 Sep 2005, 6:41 AM
Is your point that "I wasn’t winter-broken, though, I thought that it would stay." has a better beat than "I wasn’t winter-broken, I thought it would stay."? Do you really mean that four beats is better than three? The prior lines don't carry a steady number of beats, why should the last two? Is rhythm really more important?
INTRANSIT replying on First Love by Dovina 3 Sep 2005, 6:40 AM
I DO! I DO! I DO! (skipping gayly around Zodiac)
Dovina replying on First Love by Dovina 3 Sep 2005, 6:34 AM
Do you really not see the point?
Dovina replying on How Angels Sleep by Dovina 3 Sep 2005, 6:33 AM
If "good" is tossing the heavys, ok, thanks.
Dovina replying on How Angels Sleep by Dovina 3 Sep 2005, 6:31 AM
Just another whimsical meaning of "angel." Pink chiffon, I think, would suit you.
7!3 on Sugar Coating by nentwined 3 Sep 2005, 5:44 AM
haha nice..
zodiac replying on The Servant and The Messenger by ALChemy 3 Sep 2005, 5:00 AM
The men put worn and patched sandals on their feet and wore old clothes. All the bread of their food supply was dry and mouldy. Joshua 9:5