Re: Moving Out by jessicazee	Dovina 12.74.40.37	10-Sep-05/5:12 AM
"a tub" in line 3, then a . at the end, or otherwise fix the grammar. Seems like the last 2 lines should move up.
Re: a comment on Rambling by terbenaw	Dovina 12.74.40.37	10-Sep-05/5:07 AM
"Riddled with duality, I am told,"
Re: a comment on First Love by Dovina	Dovina 12.74.40.37	10-Sep-05/5:04 AM
She IS silly to think the sunrise will stay. That's the point.
Re: a comment on Strength by Dovina	Dovina 12.74.40.37	10-Sep-05/5:01 AM
No. Disapproval does not necessitate rage. Some people rage at the slightest disapproval and some never rage. The two things are not closely related.
Re: a comment on Rejuvenation by Dovina	Dovina 12.74.40.37	10-Sep-05/4:58 AM
What purpose do flowers have other than to produce seeds?
Re: Rejuvenation by Dovina	zodiac 213.186.188.41	10-Sep-05/4:47 AM
Where you went wrong was probably saying flowers only have one role. At least that's more than halfway through the poem this time.
Re: a comment on this has happened more than a few times by ay deee	zodiac 213.186.188.41	10-Sep-05/4:45 AM
This is how I read the poem: I'm walking, then I see a crazy guy, but I'm not some kind of prejudiced who won't even make eye-contact with loonies, but if he asks for money he's a fucking wino, but maybe he isn't maybe he's just crazy, and maybe I'll sit and listen to all his wisdom cause I'm deep like that, and maybe give him money, but maybe I just don't have any on me. Am I missing anything? Do you not see anything wrong with that?
Re: Rambling by terbenaw	zodiac 213.186.188.41	10-Sep-05/4:40 AM
A sloppy effort. You didn't even bother using 'gold', 'mould', 'scold', 'wold', 'fourfold', 'paroled', or 'wrestling hold'.
Re: a comment on I Love You (song) by TLRufener	zodiac 213.186.188.41	10-Sep-05/4:37 AM
UNDENIABLY CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM: Write this song over again about something completely different. Have a topic in mind before you start writing, rather than saying something like 'I think I'll write a song; what are some words people use in songs? Heart, apart, time, mine.' If you need help finding an angle on your new song, consider writing it from the perspective of a budgerigar.
Re: a comment on First Love by Dovina	zodiac 213.186.188.41	10-Sep-05/4:33 AM
Oops. I meant, yes I do see the point. The part about sunrises is, as far as I see it, the point of the poem. To recap: Woman wakes, sees sunrise, thinks it'll stay, it doesn't, because she's silly. The fault isn't the sunrise's, nor even necessarily the human condition's, it's just the woman's. Are we agreed to this point? Okay, yes, I think it's not only trite, but a little dumb. I also think whatever you imagine you've learned, you still blame the sunrise.
Re: a comment on Strength by Dovina	zodiac 213.186.188.41	10-Sep-05/4:29 AM
Do you agree that if some amount of disapproval necessitates raging, then any person who experiences it will rage, regardless of his or her self-control? And yes, I'm aware this conversation's gone on way too far to just be getting to this point.
Re: a comment on modern death(Debuffeted) by Crakyamuni	Crakyamuni 67.2.50.248	9-Sep-05/9:21 PM
Yes New Orleans is a sad reflection on why cartoons need to be re-embraced. We sad heart filled types are getting all Anthropomorphic on our brothers and sisters!? What the hell do cartoons have to do with anything? A schizoid moment. Can I get an assasination attempt? Amen. Tom and Jerry everyone.
Re: i was an ass by hendrimike	ay deee 204.90.50.252	9-Sep-05/1:00 PM
hibernating lights!
Re: a comment on this has happened more than a few times by ay deee	ay deee 204.90.50.252	9-Sep-05/12:52 PM
eye contact is the life blood of interaction
Re: a comment on this has happened more than a few times by ay deee	ay deee 204.90.50.252	9-Sep-05/12:51 PM
but what specifically abut the poem would lead you to that gunpoint conclusion? =!!===- //'
Re: a comment on keys by ay deee	ay deee 204.90.50.252	9-Sep-05/12:36 PM
no janitor here
Re: a comment on I Love You (song) by TLRufener	TLRufener 140.146.216.76	9-Sep-05/11:39 AM
I wrote this song 5 years, and all I wanted was some CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. But I now see that you are unable to think that much. Sorry for making your small mind hurt.
Re: a comment on Rambling by terbenaw	terbenaw 198.189.164.204	9-Sep-05/10:13 AM
Thank you for the comment, but... just omit it? I don't think it would make sense if I do that. What would you replace that phrase with in order for it to make sense?
Re: I Love You (song) by TLRufener	drnick 24.176.22.254	9-Sep-05/8:05 AM
Quit ripping off of the Backstreet Boy's material...I mean, I don't blame you-they rock, but it's just not right. I wouldn't write anymore songs if I were you, there's already too much of this boring shit already.
Re: a comment on Rejuvenation by Dovina	Dovina 69.92.13.105	9-Sep-05/6:50 AM
I'm hurt! You weren't there. Neither was Chequers - only a vacant store front across Main Street on the east side of the courthouse.