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Moving Out (Free verse) by jessicazee
I’m tired of flies, silverfish and smells, stains, crumbs, balls of hair. A tub that never drains, my old T-shirts are dirty rags. I hardly go barefoot anymore. Do pillows need washing? My hands aren’t paper towels. We had feather dusters, two vacuums, a spray can that worked, those days together at the Laundromat next to the Y-Not III folding sheets and blankets with four hands are good-byes, things I broke or spilled when you would clean up the mess.

Up the ladder: Nomads
Down the ladder: A Word

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 10
.. 00
.. 10
.. 20
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 6.4
Weighted score: 5.166884
Overall Rank: 5040
Posted: September 9, 2005 10:52 PM PDT; Last modified: September 9, 2005 10:52 PM PDT
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Comments:
[7] Dovina @ 12.74.40.37 | 10-Sep-05/5:12 AM | Reply
"a tub" in line 3, then a . at the end, or otherwise fix the grammar. Seems like the last 2 lines should move up.
[7] hendrimike @ 69.253.194.186 | 10-Sep-05/2:34 PM | Reply
reminds me of college
[8] ALChemy @ 65.188.89.69 | 11-Sep-05/7:21 PM | Reply
I'll give you an 8 because you can spell vacuum which is more than at least two other poets can do.
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