Re: a comment on A Barefoot Day in the Park by Dovina	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	29-Sep-05/8:33 AM
I saw the tree reference but shouldn't you be standing not sitting? Wouldn't moss more likely grow on your limbs than your hands? At first it seems like the tree is a metaphor for how long you waited there but then it starts to imply an actual transformation into the tree which would be really cool but you'd need to say "My feet took root" and "moss grew over my hands" To bring out the actualness of it. If you go the symbolic route then the moss and the rooted feet have both symbolic and tree meanings (Like a tree I'm rooted here. I must have waited long if moss is growing on me) but leaves growing out of your fingers is too impossible to carry the double meaning so it must indicate an actual or perceived transformation by the narrator. Even so I really liked the poem and it's images.
Re: After her storm (draft) by Caducus	jlynnwall 66.212.10.198	29-Sep-05/8:08 AM
This poem was extremely beautiful. I love the theme of her tears with the sea and storms. The only small suggestion I might make is to remove the word "darling", I think it takes a little away from the beauty of the rest of the poem.
Re: a comment on Sunrise On The Slag Heap by Caducus	Caducus 172.212.205.120	29-Sep-05/8:05 AM
Their is an open mic poetry night at the tin angel pub in coventry which is cool but feel disillusioned by where poetry isn't going. I've accepted I'm flawed but think you can make a better point with some poetry read aloud, for instance it can be more moving, funny, and reactions can be gauged which can change you as a writer. For national poetry day my city which is home to Phillip Larkin (Coventry) has not got a single worthy thing planned around poetry. Time for anarchy - well its that or the polish working mens club reading with no teeth. Where do you plan to go with your writing?
Re: a comment on Electric Light by cyan9	cyan9 217.40.63.105	29-Sep-05/7:37 AM
That must have been quite some rave, and if its like that, where can I get hold of this gluwein?
Re: Electric Light by cyan9	zodiac 194.165.132.226	29-Sep-05/6:14 AM
Most of this poem reminds me of a time I went to a DDR Nostalgia rave in Stuttgart while buzzed blind on gluwein. Ace.
Re: a comment on Of the Lady on the Bridge by Verse2Verse	zodiac 194.165.132.226	29-Sep-05/6:06 AM
Agreed. On a personal note, if the lady on the bridge is a real person, I'll eat a hat.
Re: Sunrise On The Slag Heap by Caducus	zodiac 194.165.132.226	29-Sep-05/6:04 AM
I'm left wondering, have you ever read your poems aloud? ... to people? I haven't in years. I wonder if that explains a lot.
Re: pep talk by ay deee	zodiac 194.165.132.226	29-Sep-05/5:58 AM
Good up to and including the hairy shirt.
Re: The regrets made me voids by Prince of Void	zodiac 194.165.132.226	29-Sep-05/5:54 AM
THE ROGUEFORT MADE ME VOID (Void) by I Like to Void The Roguefort made me void While saying (as I like to say) "void" And getting cold Cuts for a party at my friend Lloyd's. As I say, I was getting cold Cuts when this guy who resembled Freud Came up with a cheese sampler tin - I'm only human, though usually I try to avoid Supermarket samples, owing to the hemorrhoids I sustained as a result of steroid Overuse while a roadie for the band Pink Floyd, Though I'm currently unemployed. But the hemorrhoids, as I say, are deployed concentrically around the anal void Roger Waters still occasionally comes to plumb As I mumble "void", and again "void", As the others have tried so The silence of void filled us over again In hundred miles green and blue yards.
Re: Awakening by Quarton	zodiac 194.165.132.226	29-Sep-05/5:26 AM
Would you say you have a better grasp on science than most people, including rednecks?
Re: How Angels Smell by Dovina	zodiac 194.165.132.226	29-Sep-05/5:25 AM
Utter drivel. Your poems have the power to make you, Dovina, personally, however far you think you're removed by narrative distance and metaphor from their content, look silly as you only could in real life by forgetting to wear pants to a 'Save Killer Asteroids' rally.
Re: a comment on Rejuvenation by Dovina	zodiac 194.165.132.226	29-Sep-05/5:18 AM
Yes. I believe I've said thrice now that you're bumbling for assuming that the purpose of any species is continuation, and doubly so for thinking that by not admitting that what you're really saying is "the purpose of any species is continuation" you're somehow getting around that. Still not getting it? Try this: Saying the purpose of a species is to reproduce in order to continue is THE SAME THING as saying the purpose of a species is to continue. If you're going to argue with something, argue with that, at least. Or on second thought, don't. Just please, please, please for once in your life listen to either -=Dark_Angel=- or me. The "purpose" of a hammer is to drive in nails - we all know that. However, I own a hammer which has never driven in nails but has, for the entirety of its existence, been a doorstop. Does this mean the hammer's existence is wasted? Does it mean the hammer has failed to accomplish its purpose, or that it has bumbled off the path in pursuit of a WRONG purpose? No, of course not. Especially since, as far as my house is concerned and probably even farther, the only thing determining a hammer's purpose is I, me, zodiac (and Mrs zodiac, of course. She rules.) Are we agreed to this point? Good. Now extend the metaphor to a human living in the universe. Questions: 1) Who is the "zodiac" in the larger, universal metaphor? 2) That is, who is defining species' purpose like I (or hammer manufacturers, if you will,) define my hammer's purpose? 3) God? 4) Do you really think so? 5) If no one except the person living in the universe (or me using my hammer) decides what the purpose of life (or hammering) is, can it not really be anything we want it to? 6) If an evolutionary scientist (or some hammer expert) tried to tell me what the purpose of my life (or hammer) was, I'd probably hammer his fucking eggy head. I know this isn't a question. 7) In short, don't you seem kind of off your rocker on this?
Re: A Barefoot Day in the Park by Dovina	Prince of Void 83.170.55.6	28-Sep-05/10:30 PM
yeah i feel it ...u are right feeling misplaced not made for this world ...the grieving beauty of ur poem made me ocean of emotion cant be rest
Re: a comment on A Barefoot Day in the Park by Dovina	Dovina 69.119.29.150	28-Sep-05/3:47 PM
My fingers are like the small branches from limbs (my arms) and from which leaves grow, at least that's the image I wanted.
Re: A Barefoot Day in the Park by Dovina	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	28-Sep-05/3:45 PM
Good except "leaves from my fingers" seems to have no metaphoric or symbolic reason and is not based in reality either. Maybe something more like "leaves in my hair". The title reminds me of that Redford and Fonda movie.
Re: a comment on How Angels Smell by Dovina	Dovina 69.119.29.150	28-Sep-05/3:43 PM
If I can believe a figment when he says he’s Vin Diesel, then the actor I see as a god-like hunk is not real. Are you really he, for if your are, I am in a state of delusion and must surrender all I hold dear. Surely not!
Re: a comment on How Angels Smell by Dovina	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	28-Sep-05/3:32 PM
My name is Vin Diesel and yes behold I am the Lord God.
Re: a comment on How Angels Smell by Dovina	Dovina 69.119.29.150	28-Sep-05/2:40 PM
Is your name Zeus, Holy Father, or Dovina? And who is the figment?
Re: a comment on How Angels Smell by Dovina	Dovina 69.119.29.150	28-Sep-05/2:39 PM
Your spelling of “flavor” leads a casual reader to think you might be English. If so, you’ve got to bear down and write your complaints using vulgar and insulting language, or ruin the image the English have created here. hear! hear!
Re: How Angels Smell by Dovina	LilMsLadyPoet 24.162.238.185	28-Sep-05/12:04 PM
The last stanza didn't have the same flavour as the first two....felt it was kinda lacking there.