Re: The Perigenetic Prayer by ALChemy	drnick 24.176.22.254	9-Feb-06/12:27 PM
Awesome. I like "violets to violence"-that is beautiful. All the lines fit very well together...I don't see where you could make any improvments. The only thing I don't like about this one is how it makes me feel incompitent as a writer. thanks a lot. ;]
Re: Hailing Miriam by Ranger	drnick 24.176.22.254	9-Feb-06/12:21 PM
Wow, this is really good. I like the 7th line, a very good analogy. There's so much to like, very well written. The part of this poem that is really amazing is how the rythem reflected how I would imagine her dancing: light and skippy, but so very graceful and smooth.
Re: a comment on Lonely Road by drnick	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Feb-06/10:40 AM
You don't need to be the poet laureate to comment on peoples' works, even if it's just to say whether you liked or disliked what you read. It's nice to know that people have read and thought about what you've written. As for the poem, I wondered if it might be like that. It's not the most original subject matter but I like the way you've dealt with it - you avoid the cliches, or rather, you take the cliches and rework them well. Now I'm looking at it with more understanding, it's become so much clearer - every line has a definite purpose. I really should have made the connection certain by reading 'the deliberate visitor'. So yes, on both levels it's written well. 2 suggestion: lines 8 and 9 seem a bit worn...it would work better if there was a little more originality there. Also, 'That a journey/Seasons pass...' seems to be a bit of a jump. You might want to consider either putting a break between them or linking it with another line. That's my opinion anyway, others may read it differently. Useful?
Re: a comment on Sonnet by zodiac	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	9-Feb-06/9:48 AM
Nice. Is this a response to where the new trend of poetry should go or a response to the old form being relevent?
Re: a comment on Penny Loafer Blues by ALChemy	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	9-Feb-06/9:27 AM
I did mean the double meaning but I think it might have gotten through even if I had used the correct spelling.
Re: a comment on Sonnet by zodiac	zodiac 209.193.18.14	9-Feb-06/9:22 AM
If I should learn, in some quite casual way, That you were gone, not to return again-- Read from the back-page of a paper, say, Held by a neighbor in a subway train, How at the corner of this avenue And such a street (so are the papers filled) A hurrying man, who happened to be you, At noon today had happened to be killed-- I should not cry aloud--I could not cry Aloud, or wring my hands in such a place-- I should but watch the station lights rush by With a more careful interest on my face; Or raise my eyes and read with greater care Where to store furs and how to treat the hair. - Millay
Re: a comment on Lonely Road by drnick	drnick 24.176.22.254	9-Feb-06/9:02 AM
As far as this poem is concerned it is definately metaphorical: -The road is a lonely person -The thick woods is the personality they hide behind I dunno, maybe you can figure it out from there...I guess the meaning seems obvious to me because I wrote it.
Re: a comment on Lonely Road by drnick	drnick 24.176.22.254	9-Feb-06/9:02 AM
I see, that is a fair request. I suppose I don't make that many comments because I don't really feel as though I know enough to help...but I will try.
Re: a comment on Penny Loafer Blues by ALChemy	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Feb-06/8:46 AM
Ah, now I thought 'souls' was intentional, it works with the 'prophet shoes' and how the (size 10) prophesy didn't fit, or maybe wasn't fair on, your (size 11) soul - in the same way the shoes didn't fit your feet. Perhaps I read into it a little too much. Still love it though!
Re: a comment on Lonely Road by drnick	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Feb-06/7:58 AM
I've made 9 hundred and thirty something comments and received 288...you've made 36 comments and received 66. If you want people to talk to you, you have to talk to them first.
Re: A Kiss Beneath The Blossom Tree by Caducus	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Feb-06/7:46 AM
Your finest hour.
Re: a comment on The Perigenetic Prayer by ALChemy	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	9-Feb-06/7:41 AM
"whopping great urn" Sounds like a great description for this website.
Re: a comment on The Perigenetic Prayer by ALChemy	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Feb-06/7:36 AM
True, otherwise I'd still be reading it...plus, if you want to hide your poem for two thousand years you won't need a whopping great urn either.
Re: a comment on The Perigenetic Prayer by ALChemy	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	9-Feb-06/7:33 AM
Thanks for the link. I was looking into the Mary Magdalen stuff a while back. She get's very poetic when she talks about Jesus. Thank God I kept my poem shorter than that though.
Re: a comment on My Father’s World by Dovina	Dovina 67.72.98.83	9-Feb-06/7:33 AM
You can have it. Just don't tell them Dovina said Ronald looks like Mohammed.
Re: Memoirs of a miners son by Caducus	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Feb-06/7:32 AM
As usual, beautifully emotive...certainly a talent of yours!
Re: Going Away to Fight a War by wilco	Dovina 67.72.98.83	9-Feb-06/7:31 AM
I can almost hear a country guitar and sorrowful hilbilly tune. Nice.
Re: a comment on My Father’s World by Dovina	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Feb-06/7:30 AM
Yes, stanza one could quite easily become the best haiku I've ever seen. And Iran wonders why the US doesn't want it to have nuclear capability...
Re: a comment on Hailing Miriam by Ranger	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Feb-06/7:25 AM
I have another one on its way sometime soon...but I just can't get it right...grr
Re: a comment on Hailing Miriam by Ranger	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Feb-06/7:24 AM
Yes, I'm not good at writing slow poems; this all came to me in a hurry which is I think reflected in the way it turned out. Thanks for having a read, everyones' comments are (as always) much appreciated!