Re: a comment on REM Sleep by mystic enoch	mystic enoch 68.105.63.178	22-Mar-06/10:25 AM
Some people don't read books or hear stuff about dreams having meaning. I can't argue with them. I just try to express what I know about the subject and see if they have an open mind. I don't claim to know everything. What I've seen is just a piece of whats out there. Everyone has their own knowledge on things. It doesn't mean its untrue. Everyone has their own truths. I belive in my source and it was not a fairy tale. This is an interesting talk.
Re: a comment on The Right Call by Dovina	Dovina 17.255.240.138	22-Mar-06/10:23 AM
I think I'd be a cool mom, too. But I'm not one. I'd probably need my kid's guidance and supervision
Re: a comment on The Right Call by Dovina	Dovina 17.255.240.138	22-Mar-06/10:22 AM
I always have to read your comments about four times. Even then, it's often a guess. While I see the possibility of this being about a mother being tricked by her kids, I had no such thing in mind. But I rather like being multilingual unknowingly.
Re: a comment on The Right Call by Dovina	Dovina 17.255.240.138	22-Mar-06/10:19 AM
I agree that "the" in the first verse can take a hike. The rest of the the's, however, seem needed in order to be specific.
Re: a comment on The Right Call by Dovina	Dovina 17.255.240.138	22-Mar-06/10:17 AM
You always make more of me than I am. Thanks.
Re: Outside the Perfection, Into the Yellow by Sunny	ecargo 167.219.88.140	22-Mar-06/10:11 AM
Hey Sunny--this is really good. Nice sounds, strong images, good flow from stanza to stanza. "cuts off wind from the sky, and the sky itself. A sour smell/glass door, raw and white"--this is great. Suggest losing the ellipses (everywhere) and dropping the "so white"--don't think it adds anything to the line. Also sugg: dropping "all" in the "Outside, spring (should be lowercased) has conquered--it's just a filler word. I think your next stanza's probably the weakest--you don't connect it to the rest. Love the details in the last two stanzas and the ending (still in the dentist's chair?) Good stuff. Welcome.
Re: a comment on REM Sleep by mystic enoch	mystic enoch 68.105.63.178	22-Mar-06/10:10 AM
I see what you are saying. A sneek peek of my dream life would have made the poem more interesting. Thanks for the advice.
Re: a comment on REM Sleep by mystic enoch	ecargo 167.219.88.140	22-Mar-06/9:56 AM
>>I have no conscious creativity anymore<< Please. Your off-the-cuff comments are more creative and thoughtful than many poems posted here that draw popular-vote nines and tens on a monotonously regular basis. To wit (with some liberties): The unconscious mind? Repressed fantasies, unacceptable desires and traumas, a receptacle for messes, the unresolved psychological kind that rules lives. A refuge for the Divine, with a cosmic order and creativity of its own, dreams are not pointless; they tell all you wish weren't true about yourself, your nature, existence--- those recent strange dreams you remember. Write it down, break lines, don't worry so much about it. Here's hoping you find your way back.
Re: The Right Call by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	22-Mar-06/9:34 AM
Are you a mommy? I think you'd make a cool mom.
Re: The Right Call by Dovina	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.6	22-Mar-06/9:16 AM
Oh the way kids play adults against one another. Sickos.
Re: Sea Words by ecargo	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.6	22-Mar-06/9:13 AM
Surfs up!
Re: The Right Call by Dovina	Caducus 80.168.238.75	22-Mar-06/8:10 AM
you always find an apt and fittin gend to your work and i like that style about you. I think the repetition of *the* hurts the poem though
Re: Squalid by Caducus	Caducus 80.168.238.75	22-Mar-06/8:07 AM
comments deleted as it was a totally different poem to the one above. yawn
Re: a comment on REM Sleep by mystic enoch	Ranger 62.252.32.15	22-Mar-06/3:11 AM
god'swife! You're back! No conscious creativity? As I recall, your last post wasn't exactly shoddy - and besides, you always have something useful to say. Good to see you again, and I hope your imagination fires back up to standard!
Re: Life Is Like A Rose by x0lovelylarnx0	Ranger 62.252.32.15	22-Mar-06/2:57 AM
Yes, Dovina and wilco are spot on, I think. This is excellent material as a draft or as ideas on a page but they'll take work to bring together. Every poet has written about a rose at sometime or another - but it's as good a place as any to start. The first line is really nice, so build on it!
Re: The Right Call by Dovina	Ranger 62.252.32.15	22-Mar-06/2:51 AM
Made me think of the 'Genie' case - am I on the right lines?
Re: The Right Call by Dovina	wilco 24.92.74.122	21-Mar-06/7:44 PM
mmmm...okay.
Re: Life Is Like A Rose by x0lovelylarnx0	wilco 24.92.74.122	21-Mar-06/7:42 PM
Good thoughts, but it's all been said before and in a much better way. Try looking for new ways to express your thoughts. Instead of just letting it flow onto the page, think about the line and think how you can say it in a different way.
Re: REM Sleep by mystic enoch	god'swife 71.103.98.44	21-Mar-06/7:39 PM
Tell me WHAT you dreamed, not how you felt about it. The poetry is in the details. Feelings alone are boring. If i see aperson crying I might feel sympathy for their sadness but I can't feel empathy or relate to their experience intil they tell me WHAT happened. For the last year or so the only things I can even journal about are dreams. I have no conscious creativity anymore. But my dreams are filled with myth and imagery. Like you my dreams have helped to heal me, but when I write a poem about it I tell what happened in the dream (See Signal of Goodbye http://poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=73336 )and I let the reader deduce what the dream's message means.
Re: Muff by Stephen Robins	wilco 24.92.74.122	21-Mar-06/7:39 PM
"I swear I saw an ewok, Grinning between your legs," is the funniest thing I've ever heard. 8 - just for that.