Re: Cupid Missed Two Junkies (slightly clearer, rambling draft) by Ranger	INTRANSIT 152.163.100.6	15-May-06/12:02 PM
is cukoo there for a reason or just to signify craziness. I think it may better the poem to research birds and find something that emphasizes what you are trying to say. I'm barely learning how to be specific myself so, use salt. 28
Re: a comment on The Prodigal Daughter by Dovina	Dovina 70.38.78.229	15-May-06/11:20 AM
Thanks for your comments. I fixed the typo in Line 12. I changed “would” to “will” in the last line for clarification. The “SHE” for emphasis is the way I would read it aloud, to contrast with her father's weeping Line 5. But it looks audacious on paper, and I see your point about capitalization not being needed. I would use italics if that were an option in Poemranker.
Re: The Prodigal Daughter by Dovina	Ranger 62.252.32.15	15-May-06/10:43 AM
Nice work. There's a typo in line 12, and I don't like the capitalisation of 'she' toward the end; it could just be the font, but generally speaking I'm not a fan of capitalisation for emphasis. It's usually unnecessary. The other thing is that I remember ecargo saying to me in one of my poems that the rhymes were somewhat distracting - I think the same applies here. On my reading it would have gone a little more smoothly without the rhymes. Others may disagree though. That's the nitpicks done, now for the credit. The story is very well told, concise but not vague - which isn't easy to achieve. It's very tactile as well; I can see the scenes pretty clearly. Question: the last line - 'would'. Being conditional, I'm a little confused as to this. It seems that there's something preventing her asking (almost like he's dead) but up till then there was nothing to suggest such an eventuality. Might it work better as 'will'?
Re: Mannequin by Roisin	Dovina 70.38.78.229	15-May-06/10:33 AM
It's a good little slogan about love (glue) as I see it. But I don't see the significance of the spacing.
Re: a comment on grim task by lmp	Ranger 62.252.32.15	15-May-06/9:23 AM
Did you spend even thirty seconds reading the poem?
Re: grim task by lmp	Edna Sweetlove 85.210.41.220	15-May-06/8:42 AM
I have mixed feelings here. I loathe the Americanised spelling of meagre and sepulchre. And this alleged modernity clashed with the archaic and pseudo-poetic "ev'ry". And punctuation: if you eschew capitals I feel you could drop the commas and fullstops (or as you amusingly and coyly call them "periods").
Re: Ah! That Love Would'st Lead Me by EggbertShootsFire	Edna Sweetlove 85.210.41.220	15-May-06/8:37 AM
Line 6: "lead" should be "led". Apart from that error whivh I shall charitably assume is a typo, I liked this poem even though it's a bit derivative.
Re: a comment on Mannequin by Roisin	Ranger 62.252.32.15	15-May-06/7:52 AM
Strangely enough it's now a different shape to the version I saw a few minutes ago, yet my vote is still there. It looks better like this, more symmetrical at least. I've made it my life's goal never to work in an office.
Re: a comment on Mannequin by Roisin	Roisin 194.70.52.62	15-May-06/7:45 AM
Oh right, yeah, I'm thinking of changing it back. I'm not sure. I'll mull it over whn I'm not at work. Yes, it was inspired by the shallow conversations overheard in this office.
Re: a comment on Mannequin by Roisin	Ranger 62.252.32.15	15-May-06/7:31 AM
I think you edited this straight after I posted, hence the vote not showing. If I'm honest, it was easier to read in it's first version - is this meant as an image (I'm a little slow today, bear with me if I don't get it instantly)? It's a neat little look at the way we build our lives according to social trends, and not always having any depth to them. At least, that's how I read it.
Re: a comment on Mannequin by Roisin	Roisin 194.70.52.62	15-May-06/7:26 AM
Did you? Do you like it? Your vote hasn't come up for some reason.
Re: Mannequin by Roisin	Ranger 62.252.32.15	15-May-06/7:16 AM
I titled a poem 'Mannequin'. It wasn't as catchy as this though.
Re: a comment on George and Samson by Edna Sweetlove	ALChemy 71.75.176.68	15-May-06/6:25 AM
I've only been in the south a year and a half and my grammar skills are dropping faster than George W. Bush's approval ratings. Looking forward to your next dirty ditty.
Re: a comment on George and Samson by Edna Sweetlove	Edna Sweetlove 85.210.20.82	15-May-06/3:26 AM
I enjoyed your reworked version (in spite of its occasional grammatical lapses). Thank you for reading! I shall shortly repay the compliment perhaps in kind! xxxx Edna
Re: a comment on A Prayer For God's Soldiers As They Kill For Him by Edna Sweetlove	Edna Sweetlove 85.210.20.82	15-May-06/3:22 AM
Dear Alchemy: my apologies. I am new here and I didn't realise the red X was a delete button! So the answer is YES up to now but NO not again.
Re: a comment on A Prayer For God's Soldiers As They Kill For Him by Edna Sweetlove	ALChemy 71.75.176.68	14-May-06/3:00 PM
Do you always delete comments before you reply to them?
Re: A Prayer For God's Soldiers As They Kill For Him by Edna Sweetlove	Edna Sweetlove 81.178.84.242	14-May-06/2:40 PM
Anal is next to godliness.
Re: A Sexy Crucifixion Poem by Edna Sweetlove	Niphredil 132.69.238.35	14-May-06/11:33 AM
Ew. That aside, I was wondering, does this poem have a point? I mean, are you actually trying to say something meaningful, apart from (the obvious) provocation for provocation's sake?
Re: a comment on honey bee by ThePariahDog	some deleted user 65.34.178.244	14-May-06/10:47 AM
Stalker much?
Re: The Queen Mum - A Tribute by Edna Sweetlove	Ranger 62.252.32.15	14-May-06/10:01 AM
She may have been an evil old goat, but then again we're not noted for churning out good, benevolent and just royalty. Besides, Gordon's is part of the national heritage; for them to go out of business would be like losing the World Cup. Oh, wait...