Re: Edna's Lovely World Cup Poem by Edna Sweetlove	horus8 24.126.116.245	9-Jun-06/7:48 PM
I came so close to caring, but than... Well, I realized how completely boring you truly have become.
Re: a comment on I hate your guts and think you're stupid by horus8	horus8 24.126.116.245	9-Jun-06/7:45 PM
You know? I'd probably buy that load of bollocks if you didn't read my "bad writing skills" soooo much... But for the hell of it, let me help you clarify your sentences better, and let us ignore my disregard for proper spelling years ago; it was an obvious lazy phase. Drop "skills" from your trite jest, it's redundant. But if you really want to be hip, and not sound like you're about to choke an a handful of gristle and sour bitch tit? Turn it to skillz, and then pipe smoke my dick-fuzz you redcoat asshat.
Re: a comment on Instructions to a Sculptor by Christof	lmp 141.154.134.3	9-Jun-06/2:06 PM
i think between works better. unless the cubject is very dehaydrated/skinny, we would not really see the ribs, but the mark between them would indicate the heart's location. through the ribs would be a severe mark indeed, maybe moreso than is neccessary to convey a subtle flaw.
Re: Split Me by Sunny	lmp 141.154.134.3	9-Jun-06/2:03 PM
i believe this is about grief... and they way a simple image that distracts you from the humdrum of everyday life will allow the carefully maintained and taut facade of composure to crumble... about the relief of grieving, the release of the pain and anguish. i would guess (from the impression of the dandelion "manna") that the loss was a child dying or maybe only departing home, off to create their own life beyond your ability to control. you only have faith that they will succeed or will rest in peace. poignant. well written. excellently composed. great transitions. 9.
Re: a comment on Instructions to a Sculptor by Christof	lmp 141.154.134.3	9-Jun-06/1:47 PM
that is what i got from it too, so i guess the poem hits the mark, so to speak.
Re: Your Great by scitz	lmp 141.154.134.3	9-Jun-06/12:45 PM
u gotta do this in 733t, dude.
Re: a comment on Prelude to Infidelity (edited) by Caducus	lmp 141.154.134.3	9-Jun-06/12:13 PM
in retrospect, the title is a little misleading. not actually a "prelude" is it? i mean, you were already "doused by her bleached meat" (unless i misread that line).
Re: Prelude to Infidelity (edited) by Caducus	lmp 141.154.134.3	9-Jun-06/12:11 PM
wow. a chilling tale, actually. nicely written.
Re: a comment on Herencia Latina by Ranger	lmp 141.154.134.3	9-Jun-06/11:43 AM
and here i went thinking that it maybe was a reference to a viole fabric (copy-paste the whole link): http://images.google.com/images?;rls=en&q=voile%20fabric and maybe something similar to this one: http://www.bobbydene.com/w32.jpg was a part of a costume she (the dancer) may have been wearing. so there still is the "mystery of the frenchness"... or no?
Re: a comment on Won’t Somebody Be My Friend by amanda_dcosta	lmp 141.154.134.3	9-Jun-06/9:50 AM
interesting response. for the record, i guess my "bottles" would be soda or seltzer, but more likely cups of coffee. (i don't partake of alcohol, if that was your implication.) as an aside, i think it not very civil of you to suggest that i would be come a drunken sot; you really know nothing of me and my life not to mention my spiritual fortitude in the face of adversity. the other interesting part of your response is that i do, in fact, the very thing you suggest. i do acknowledge folks "on the street". i do not offer words of cheer; those sentiments are usually the last thing a person on the skids wants to hear; it comes off callous on the cheermaker's part. instead, if i don't merely catch their eye and nod in acknowledgement, i listen to their plea (or more often their con line) and reply simply, "i cannot help you". The meaning behind my words is that the best person to help them is themselves, especially so the further down they have fallen. it is a credo i live by myself, and i have accepted very little help getting to where i am, and what help i have received has almost always been repaid as best as i am able. i do not believe in handouts. all that being said, the intent of my original comment was not as much to do with the subject or even the content, but more in the way in which you have presented it. if, as you have said in the response above, you are relating this tale so that readers will feel the needs of others, perhaps you could make more of a point addressing those who do not feel your subject's needs. perhaps write about those who do not take notice. it starts to remind me of the song by the Pet Shop Boys, "the Theatre". Not much in the way of peotry, but: http://www.lyricsdepot.com/pet-shop-boys/the-theatre.html in parting, i would like to point out another line in your comment above. "Not having material wealth is one thing, but having a feeling of lon[e]liness with no one to share your suffering is an agony in itself." Basically, you are sayiong that misery loves company. I always found that to be a selfish sentiment to harbor. if i am miserable why would i want anyone else to suffer the same? just so they can feel my pain? to what end? so they will help me? PAH!
Re: hah by xanthippe	Edna Sweetlove 81.178.240.253	9-Jun-06/4:43 AM
This has merit. Not much.
Re: I hate your guts and think you're stupid by horus8	Edna Sweetlove 81.178.240.253	9-Jun-06/4:42 AM
I enjoy your unusual spelling of "parochial"; it no doubt explains your bad writing skills.
Re: Skating by Bobjim	Edna Sweetlove 81.178.240.253	9-Jun-06/4:34 AM
This deserves a high rating as much as I deserve the Nobel prize.
Re: Instructions to a Sculptor by Christof	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Jun-06/3:35 AM
If poetic Armageddon arrived, and I could only keep one poem out of every one ever written, it would be this one. Line six - 'through' instead of 'between'?
Re: a comment on Herencia Latina by Ranger	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Jun-06/3:29 AM
You're back! Awesome, it's been so quiet here recently...a lot of people are still just logging in, posting and logging out again. I trust the workload isn't too much? Best of luck for everything you have left in your schedule. Viole - I thought you might get it ;-D It's also hinting at how little the musician needs to stray before turning a beautiful piece into a mess. And believe me, it's easy to screw up these tunes... P.S. - amateur? :-p
Re: Herencia Latina by Ranger	Niphredil 132.69.238.35	8-Jun-06/12:49 PM
Viole is a reference to violence - assault, violation. If I had to bet, I'd say that viole, in conjuction with the slender neck, provides an additional, darker association of how easy it would be to snap. - Niph, amateur psychopath ;-)
Re: Camden Gaithright by MacFrantic	Ranger 62.252.32.15	7-Jun-06/5:20 AM
Superb. The final line seemed a little off-rhythm to me, or maybe a bit too long. Either way, it shouldn't be too tricky to fix. Also, being stupid as I am, I read it as 'A God accepting is a God deranged'. P.S. - I wrote a paradelle recently. Damn tricky form.
Re: Split Me by Sunny	Ranger 62.252.32.15	7-Jun-06/5:10 AM
Hey Sunny, as promised I'm still reading through a couple of your poems although my brain isn't tuned in at the moment. I can see something behind this poem but at the moment it's blurry. I have been pretty tired recently (lots of football etc.) so bear with me. As usual the lines are great to read and well structured. As a general point though, I'd be wary of using words such as 'irrupting' - uncommon words which closely resemble much more widely-used ones. It's just that if the reader doesn't have as wide a vocabulary as you (as is the case with most of us) they're going to be prone to assuming you've made a mistake. I've read enough of your poems to know that you don't make such errors, but a reader who doesn't have instant access to references (i.e. dictionary.com) may be put off unjustly. Well, that's it for now...I hope I start thinking properly again soon.
Re: a comment on Freud Spoke Of A Mother's Tongue, But I Interpret Dreams by Ranger	LilMsLadyPoet 64.12.116.10	6-Jun-06/3:17 PM
Cheers!
Re: Herencia Latina by Ranger	ALChemy 71.75.176.68	6-Jun-06/1:47 PM
Is the red light your McGuffin? Honestly, it could be a million thing but I can't think of the one it should be.