Re: Buttocks. by Ulterius	Engelbert Humpalot 194.154.22.38	4-Sep-06/10:08 AM
This is such a nice poem. May I enquire if the author is the possessor of a tasty posterior?
Re: Jesus by Sing4Jesus!	Engelbert Humpalot 194.154.22.38	4-Sep-06/10:06 AM
The funniest thing I've read all day. You must be certifiable.
Re: The Christian Soldier by Sing4Jesus!	Engelbert Humpalot 194.154.22.38	4-Sep-06/10:05 AM
Awful
Re: The Christian Soldier by Sing4Jesus!	Engelbert Humpalot 194.154.22.38	4-Sep-06/10:05 AM
Hilariously bad.
Re: The Christian Submariner by Sing4Jesus!	Engelbert Humpalot 194.154.22.38	4-Sep-06/10:04 AM
Terrible.
Re: A prayer about Jesus by Sing4Jesus!	Engelbert Humpalot 194.154.22.38	4-Sep-06/10:04 AM
Abysmal
Re: a comment on Buttocks. by Ulterius	DamienDen 168.103.213.204	4-Sep-06/10:03 AM
In your eyes I have mistaken it, and quite possibly many others, but in mine I have not. It really doesn't matter, we are both right. The poem to me is crude regardless, it may be genius to others and thats fine I'm just not a huge fan of it, amusing yes, but crude to me, now whether thats the correct usage of the word in this instance I dunno, its shouldn't really be a big deal. LoL :)
Re: George and Samson by Edna Sweetlove	Engelbert Humpalot 194.154.22.38	4-Sep-06/10:03 AM
Delightful.
Re: A Fart For All Mankind by Edna Sweetlove	Engelbert Humpalot 194.154.22.38	4-Sep-06/10:01 AM
I can sniff it from here.
Re: a comment on Let this world crumble to dust without you by A_Dark_Calm	Ranger 86.131.53.233	4-Sep-06/12:29 AM
7 out of 14 is damn good, particularly if you're rhyming as well. Really, I don't think you need wholesale changes in here - you keep a good continuity thread going (something I rarely manage) and whereas I usually dont like so much repetition, here it works well. Perhaps 'Let everything there is soon disappear' would be a good one to edit - one gorgeous line in every ten is normally sufficient to keep the reader going.
Re: a comment on Buttocks. by Ulterius	A_Dark_Calm 71.75.188.163	4-Sep-06/12:25 AM
Looks like your little poem prematurely ejaculated.
Re: a comment on Let this world crumble to dust without you by A_Dark_Calm	A_Dark_Calm 71.75.188.163	4-Sep-06/12:23 AM
Good point. 7 aces out of 14 lines ain't too bad (assuming you like the first line as much as the title). It seems my solid images disintegrated with the universe. But you're right about it and I know it.
Re: a comment on Buttocks. by Ulterius	Ranger 86.131.53.233	4-Sep-06/12:20 AM
I think maybe you've mistaken 'crude' for 'unsubtle'. The poem certainly isn't subtle, but then, good poetry doesn't have to be. On the other hand, the actual way in which this is written is rhythmically very refined indeed. I mean, come on - 'cleanliness bereft buttock' is utter genius :-)
Re: What makes you think I want to know you? by thepinkbunnyofdoom	A_Dark_Calm 71.75.188.163	4-Sep-06/12:09 AM
Angst you very much for posting your personal problems. We do love to read about that.
Re: Let this world crumble to dust without you by A_Dark_Calm	Ranger 86.131.53.233	4-Sep-06/12:08 AM
I love a) the title b) the rhymes c) lines 3, 4, 5, 6 and the final two d) most of the content. Don't turn it into a haiku, haikus suck most of the time whereas I personally love a good old-fashioned form :-) I do think Dovina has a point - probably because there is so much abstractness in here (universe, 'let it happen', everything etc.). If you could build in a few more solid images to give me something tactile, I would love this more :-)
Re: What makes you think I want to know you? by thepinkbunnyofdoom	Ranger 86.131.53.233	4-Sep-06/12:03 AM
I dig the idea in here, but the rhythm was torturous for me. In my view, rhymes should be used to help the rhythm, not the other way round.
Re: Royal Blades by Dovina	Ranger 86.131.53.233	4-Sep-06/12:00 AM
Did I catch a slight hint of smugness there? I assume the poem's about you, kudos for being able to skate; I can't. Word of warning - this poem could easily be read to carry a much more sinister meaning, if the reader has a slightly deranged mind (like mine).
Re: a comment on Let this world crumble to dust without you by A_Dark_Calm	A_Dark_Calm 71.75.188.163	3-Sep-06/11:52 PM
I could shorten it but then it wouldn't be a sonnet. Maybe a haiku? World crashes into sun The universe soon follows still with you I live
Re: a comment on Let this world crumble to dust without you by A_Dark_Calm	A_Dark_Calm 71.75.188.163	3-Sep-06/11:48 PM
Jesus just called. He told me to tell you you're a butthole.
Re: Let this world crumble to dust without you by A_Dark_Calm	Dovina 12.72.45.53	3-Sep-06/5:23 PM
"Be with me, my wife, and I shall have a universe of life." What more could I ask. The rest of the poem does drag on a bit though.