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CommentsComments 24881–24900 back, including replies. Only comments on poems

Caducus replying on Room 34 Ashford Hospital by Caducus 11 Oct 2004, 10:41 AM
Its about PArkinsons disease so i doubt the son deserved the rejection
some deleted user on One True Instant by Dovina 11 Oct 2004, 10:26 AM
Dovina, why do you write poetry. The only reason I can think of for writing poetry is to communicate something you think valuable. If you have something valuable to say surely it is important that the reader understands it as it was meant. To suggest that people interpreting it wrongly is a good thing is absurd. Hence my comment about confusion. Who would be the author of confusion? The most important thing a poet can express in my opinion is an uncertainty or an excitement over a coming together of images. In that sense the reader does not need to know what the poem means as such, rather grasp some kind of imaginary order. The Dylan Thomas poem 'the force that through the green fuse lights the flower' for instance communicates a sexual excitement understood through water on rock, quicksand stirring etc. As for the poem I believe zodiac's anger is driven by your lack of care. It is full of cliches - eyes meet, true, hope etc and seems unbothered that lines go by without offering anything ('directly in front of me the one I call husband' makes up a whole verse, it could easily make up one or two words, directly in front being redundant as it is presumed the narrator is paying attention). People make different interpretations of certain poems because the lack of depth allows them to, not because it is a good poem.
abecedarian on She Crab by http://mulberryfairy 11 Oct 2004, 9:11 AM
A gorgeous moment. The gendering of the crab is intersting. Are you making a personal statement or merely recounting an event?
http://mulberryfairy on Missing a Line by peaceseeker 11 Oct 2004, 6:42 AM
I think it'd be a more effective metaphor than similie. I could visualize it though.
daggatolar on Room 34 Ashford Hospital by Caducus 11 Oct 2004, 6:38 AM
to be found out that your love means nothing, unable to stop the tears from rocking down from her eyes, you deserve this rejection
Oh goodness, your swear has sent shivers of naughtiness up and down my spine. Did you know that Hobos have a top speed of four miles per hour?
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. replying on One True Instant by Dovina 11 Oct 2004, 5:44 AM
Ah, Wilfred Owen. How many times since year 10 have we laughed at your melodramatic poetry? At least 5. Probably more.
Sometimes you produce the most awful bungling bogstanton.
zodiac on Feast On Me by cuddlytiger17 11 Oct 2004, 5:32 AM
Honest question of the day: Is a target - presumably a shooting target - really ever intended as a shield? By whom?
zodiac on Room 34 Ashford Hospital by Caducus 11 Oct 2004, 5:26 AM
I've found that effectively parodying this poem requires changing fewer than ten words. The last line, especially, should be changed to: with brine-shrimp tearing at my eyes. I do hope someone gives it a shot.
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. replying on One True Instant by Dovina 11 Oct 2004, 5:07 AM
I don't think it's always a "great thing" that readers interpret your work in different ways. In most cases, that happens because you have inadequately conveyed what you were trying to convey. John Keats said that poetry "...should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts, and appear almost as a remembrance". Most of the poemes I like touch a nerve, and by skillful use of language they really capture the essence of what they're trying to say. They communicate it so well, that it seems like your own remembrance, rather than something someone else thinks. One example is Wilfred Owen's "Dulce et decorum est". Here is a dumpling: "GAS! Gas! Quick, boys!-- An ecstasy of fumbling, Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time; But someone still was yelling out and stumbling And floundering like a man in fire or lime.-- Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light As under a green sea, I saw him drowning." I was far too old to serve in the trenches of WWI, but the poeme made me feel as if I was ACTUALLY there, and it had been one of MY comrades who had broken wind. Food for thought? Thanks for listening.
"I will admit that clerihews are not known for quality, but for wit." You whopping idiot.
zodiac replying on One True Instant by Dovina 11 Oct 2004, 4:10 AM
Who said I spent any time on it? Oh, you did. Dim response. PS-your third stanza is very poorly (and superungrammatically) phrased. See if you can find out why.
cuddlytiger17 replying on Feast On Me by cuddlytiger17 10 Oct 2004, 8:40 PM
Oh thanks for ur kindness! lol. haha.
wilco on Feast On Me by cuddlytiger17 10 Oct 2004, 7:26 PM
If this were free verse I'd probably give it a 4 but since you called it a pimple I'll give you a 7.
wilco on Old Man by Rollsoftoiletpaper 10 Oct 2004, 7:18 PM
Seems to be about an abusive father. Not bad. I would maybe change this "How dare you say that I've done anything wrong in my life." , but otherwise, not bad at all.
cuddlytiger17 replying on A Reflective Window by lukehanney 10 Oct 2004, 6:15 PM
ur very welcome. when/if you make any changes let me know, I'd love to see them. :)
cuddlytiger17 replying on Old Man by Rollsoftoiletpaper 10 Oct 2004, 6:10 PM
ur welcome. :)
cuddlytiger17 replying on Call of the Moon by arduinn 10 Oct 2004, 6:08 PM
ur welcome, anytime.
cuddlytiger17 replying on Feast On Me by cuddlytiger17 10 Oct 2004, 5:04 PM
a pimple is generally written by teens expressing "teen angst," and usually isn't very good. They contain very common rhymes and lack word variation.