This is overpunctuated. It sounds less the team talk of a games master and more the team talk of an RSI inflicted Stephen Hawking.

It is correct that players of the old 'games of ball' can be a tad coarse but to suggest gentlemen use the kind of immigrant slang employed in this poem I will not believe.

The last verse seems a bit tacked on. The rest is very nice to read but you do know that people don't write like that anymore.

1) Don't capitalise "Oak". 2) Don't put a period after it either. 3) Then don't capitalise "Laid". 4) Correctly punctuate "Nature's". 5) On second thought, don't say that at all; and don't rhyme "tomb" and "womb". 6) That reminds me: Don't rhyme "fire" and "pyre". 7) Punctuate after Frost. 8) Don't punctuate after pressed. 9) What's up with all the periods in that stanza anyway? And couldn't you have made at least one of those a full clause? 10) "You haunt me in the omen of banshees" doesn't make any sense. You'll try to explain it now. Don't. It still doesn't. That's your limit. Do you want more?

-10- The 'preverts' in line 13 is sheer genius. The only improvement I would add might be to change the last word from ball to balls.

A good flow and a good point.

It flows nicely and contains some awsome images, but altogether, it lacks motive and is too broad. It fails to pinpoint any real life issue.

damnit I thought the poeam was long, the comments is even longer

this is great... 10

Very nice

nice

I know this is just a poem, and no more than that. When we were growing up, you always told us not to give up no matter what. For the poem dad I give you a -10-,but if you have really given up I give you; which I believe is a lie. 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Awesome!!!

Nice :)